what a dreadful day. poa was lifeless. had a couple of communication breakdown with khaii. was funny though. it feels different without bebeh sitting next to me. its sad how we realise we abandoned our friends. on purpose? i cant explain. ah, i feel so rotten..

bebeh is still not back yet. and if he doesnt come back anytime soon, im gonna go psycho and insane with missing him so much. ah, slap me. its been only three days for goodness sake. still.. it feels so sdifunvutuheeonwbassp la. ok?! sick.

after poa, went to eat at mr prata with khaii & nas. FUCKIN RIP-OFF MAN.. the food there is not of a good standard, service is lousy and there are no hot waiters. im deprived from my dear ok..

dont read the following paragraph if ur not concerned in my life whatsoever. dont say i didnt warn you bitch.

had big news on my family. my dad was offered at a better paying job in a rival company. the work will be at vietnam. so if he goes, he'll for off for a year plus.the thing is, he will have to bring my mother and the two youngest siblings. since me and my two older siblings are old enough to take care of ourselves. while we try to continue our lives here, their expenses will be paid for and my younger siblings get to go to a british school. they even get an apartment resort man! the real problem is only the fact that my dad wont be able to go for friday prayers since the nearest muslim community is some 200km away. sigh.. i dont know how to react. but my dad said that we kids are not grateful enough when they are around. so perhaps this can be an opportunity for us to learn to be independant. im ashamed to say that the only thing i thought about at that time was how much more time im able to spend with bebeh if my parents wont be around. but i realise that that is the exact opposite of what my parents expect of me. bebeh still doesnt know. and im waiting for him to come back. i want his opinion. badly. and if they go, we will spend at least a week of holidays to go visit them, right? and that will affect him. i guess my dad is right. how will i survive without them. im so fucking grateful i have seth. i know i wont be losing him anytime soon. and i know for sure he loves me just as much as i do. =)

ahh. that feels better as i let it all off. i cant take it. i have to be patient until bebeh comes back. and i told khaii just now that i have half the heart to wait for him at the checkpoint. HAHAA. ok, madness. i just miss him dammit. sigh.. till tomorrow. ciao-