wah nas eh.. just because she is over with the rush of o levels, she can ask me to update. lol.

anyhows. theres no use pretending to be blind to the thick thick air surrounding the so-called friendship. i must say that i have never taken sides. but its just too bad that i love nassie more. that i know her better. that she takes time to actually listen and ask me how ive been. thats what friends do. you dont go around talkin shit and dissin nassie when you dont even know just whats going on in HER life. while me here, i have the position to see whats wrong with khaii. he is one jackass and i know him just as well. its not like nas wants things to happen this way. you are plain stubborn. egoistic. thick skin. brave. all at once. as much i respect the way you stand up straight even when being alone, your attitude disgust me.

now isnt that a reason why im never close to you?

the world aint pretty like you are girl. you need to give in once in a while and admit you are wrong. you have to see that you make mistakes. its WRONG when people have to beg you for forgiveness when YOU are in the wrong. you see, i love nassie for making that big step. not that i have anything to do with it. there is still a side of her who KNOWS her priorities. she loves you so much, that she is willing to risk the friendship just so you will realise your mistakes since the last four years that shes known you. dont count pri sch.

im sorry to say this ah, but im against all blackies. all bloody inds. those who jiwa mamak keleng. even if you are a malay, but you are black, im sorry. im bound to hate you. unless you love green day or spider-man. where was i?

no amount of pretty words can make the situation better ok. so im just going to say this..

THERE IS NO FUCKING USE IF YOU THINK YOU CAN COUNT ON YOUR FUCKING LOOKS TO GET NEW FRIENDS. YOU KNOW THAT ONE DAY, THEY WILL USE YOU ONE WAY OR ANOTHER. CAN YOU EVEN COUNT HOW MANY TIMES THAT HAPPENED TO YOU?! WHILE I MAY NOT KNOW THE A-Z OF YOUR LIFE BUT I KNOW ENOUGH TO JUDGE THIS WAY. NOT EVERYONE LOVES YOU. HECK, NOT MANY EVEN LIKE YOU! IS TO FORGIVE AND TALK THINGS OUT JUST SO HARD FOR YOU? ARE YOU SCARED OF THE REALITY OF THE SITUATION?! DO YOU REALISE THAT YOU ARE LOSING NASSIE? AND ALL YOUR OTHER FRIENDS WHO STOOD BY YOU ALL THESE YEARS? ARE THAT STUPID TO FOLLOW YOUR EGO? NO, SERIOUSLY. WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE THESE DAYS?! ISNT IT OBVIOUS ENOUGH THAT YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS WRONG. ARE YOU FUCKING BLIND? IGNORANT? AN OPTIMIST AT ITS WORST? WHAT ARE YOU?

and its so shocking that it really, if you read that paragraph again, it also suits khaii well. its amazing how two people who hate each other so much have same irritating egoistic characteristics.

u said nassie was you best friend. then why are you willing to lose her.

fuck, i will die without heather. cos she's my best friend. if i lose her, its as good as losing seth too. i know that im sometimes what you described nassie. i prioritise seth too much. BUT DID HEATHER DESERT ME?! FUCKING HELL NO. she stood by me and was fucking patient with me man. thats when i realise that i just wont ditch her for seth. no way. and why arent YOU patient with nassie? she doesnt mean much to you as much as heather means to me la? thats sad, really sad.. its really your loss you know.. if i had to choose between you and nas. i wont even blink and hesitate. it will be nassie.

im really sorry if this might strain my ties with ili. i will regret if anything happens to us. PLS GIRL. stop being selfish. just give in. apologise. start afresh. why is it so hard? what, you're gonna say i dont understand? then MAKE ME. enlighten me. ARGH. you are involving other friendships here. innocent people. its not just nassie. if its a feud this big, it will involve those around us. and thats what im so angry about.

on a lighter note, im actually very happy today. IM GOING TO WATCH THE GRUDGE TODAY! with bebeh. since heather wants to watch step up. sorry if im behind times, but i dont even know what that movie is about. i was busy with o levels mind you.

im tired with all that rants. if you are willing to give in, i will gladly take back my words. sigh.. i thank god i have heather. and seth. people who are completely out of the circle. gosh, i must have been a good girl to deserve them. =)

tomorrow lit yeah? have fun suckers. CIAO-