hello all! and statue too.

BWAHAHAHAA.

so, i got a little overboard with that entry. let me take a mirror... WELL, I SURE DONT LOOK LIKE I CARE!

anyhows, yesterday was great truckloads of fun. oh, and i better stop talking shit about shit for the meantime in case well, seth doesnt like it. even though i would hate to stop, i gotta respect him. fine line between respect and fear alright?

spent quality time with seth. =)) im one happy girl. and i guess im getting used to him working. as much as i will miss him like crazy, i know its for our own good. =)

where has everyone's blogs gone to? like, is it my internet or are these wussies just scared to blog... SOMETHING?

watched girls out loud last monday. MAAAAAN, xiaxue is FAT FAT FAT! and her speech is horrible. i love her blog and all.. but i was so turned off by the way she talked. STUPID! so what if you're smart and talk all big in your blog but you cant even SPEAK proper english. haiyo.

im bored. and xiaxue is fat. omfg, i cant get over it..

ive got a crush on rozz. maybe its because she was immediately compared to her co-host. she is tall, pretty, confident, slim and best of all SHE SPEAKS FABULOUS ENGLISH! well, shes a DJ after all.

watch more tv. im jobless. im living on my parents' and boyfriend's money. BWAHAHAHA. ok, so definitely not latter.

anyways, seth said something really beautiful to me yesterday.. you all must know, that he isnt the sweety hunny bunny icky kinda guy. and i love him for that. cos when he is, it hits me so hard, i feel like fainting.. in a nice kinda way. haha. anyways, when we were at the esplanade rooftop, he said to me,"you know... umm... i wanna treat you to a nice fancy restaurant.. not these fast food places.." O.O -shocked- ok. it may be just one short sentence, but it was enough to leave my stomach squirm in delight. and i fell in love with him all over again! =)

and he was right! like... US? one year?! WOW. when i sit down and REALLY think about it, im flabbergasted myself. one year.. and still happy.

the used-to-be-close-friend texted me one whole mean message to me a few days back. im really not bothered, cos really, you are TRYING TOO HARD and simply stubborn. you're adamant in not changing yourself for the better. for your info, no, im not happy. im still not happy cos im more concerned that you did not learn your mistakes. i swear, my initial thought is that you are to appreciate her more and not treat her like a spare tyre. i wanted you to see that she is damn well worth more than you are and you are making the single biggest mistake of your life by treating her like shit. and i thought, that if she left you for a while, you will analyse all the above yourself, and then take her back in, a new person, a better bf. I GUESS NOT. YOU ARE STILL THE SAME IRRITATING ASSHOLE WHO NEVER LEARNS HIS MISTAKES. FUCK YOU OK, FOR ALL THOSE TIMES I LISTENED TO YOU COMPLAIN AND HELP YOU SAY THINGS TO HER THAT YOU DONT HAVE THE HEART TO SAY, FUCK YOU UNGRATEFUL BASTARD. IM NOT OUT TO DESTROY THE TWO OF YOU "JUST BECAUSE I HAVE A PERFECT RELATIONSHIP". im not a fucking 6 year old ok. why the fuck would i do that?! i hope at least you know, i did it out of good intentions. but you are STUBBORN. FUCK, KILL THAT EGO, PLEASE!

this is largely personal. i dont know how else i can say this to him.

seriously, its so fucking sad for me to see the demise of our friendship. I DONT CARE IF YOU SAY IM A "FUCKING TWO-FACED BITCH" (again) FOR SAYING THIS. i really dont care. cos i daresay its what i truly feel. and for what you have done to the band that is long gone, it really doesnt matter to me. but what hurts most is that you are taking seth's passion away. that really fucking hurts man. and i know you might say that i fucking deserve it, SO BE IT. i really hate how he have to be affected because of OUR personal problem. before she came around, everything was fine and perfect. then, you roped me in. ARGGH. i regret making the two of you such a major matter in my life. i regret because not only you dont learn the one characteristic that people abhore you for (STUBBORN!) but i let it come between us and affect the band. even as a bassist, i feel so sorry for seth. its not his fault and he is still on the losing end. so i plead you, at least apologise to him and tell him that you are sorry that the band is hopelessly gone. cos our friendship is beyond repair now, as i see it. in my part, im sorry. im sorry if you misunderstand my intentions and i wont bother in correcting your opinion of me. i know you know me well and i'll let you have it. as far as im concerned, ive apologised and there is nothing more to us.

the end.

P/S: remember some time earlier this year you gave me the cold shoulder and we stopped jamming? that was when you found out about seth and me. you said you were furious because you are afraid that something bad might happen to me and seth and then affect the band. i swear you said that and i remember every single major fight we've ever had ok. my point is, look what you've done. just look. really take one hard look at it. ironic now, isnt it, how the tables have turned. like i said, all i ask of you is to apologise to him. honestly, i havent done so myself cos its really hard for me to say it to him. but im planning to do so tonight.

and, i really dont know if im doing this cos i love him or hate him so much..

argh! im feeling so fucked right now. dont worry, a few ferrero rochers and some tv will do the trick. btw nas, its not your fault AT ALL! im at least glad that you've made your OWN decisions and i do hope you were not swayed by my opinions. im not talking about the facts.. you know what i mean? work hard aite. =) CIAO-