Tonight, I'm plagued with temporary bouts of insanity which inevitably comes with a week of period. I hate being out of control and feeling totally helpless as I watch myself throwing my temper at the closest person who gets on my nerves. And sadly, I'm perpetually surrounded by stupid and/or smelly people haha.

Sometimes it just feels so good to let the anger seep out. Almost like I'm draining the negative energy out of my body. So more often than not, I say things that I don't mean. Actually I speak of truths, only laced with personal attacks because of all the welled up anger. And that is most regrettable. But I can't help it. If I don't let it out, my insides burn and my chest feels like exploding. It's almost like the dark hatred in my heart eats at everything inside and fuels anger through me like a toxin. I simply need to discharge all of it.

I remember there was once upon a time when I didn't get affected by PMS all too badly. He was the only boy who managed to completely dispel all irrational anger out of me. The first time I suddenly blew up at him, was the one and only time.

I don't know what it was about him, but his patience was enough to force me to have me to be more patient. Does that even make sense? Haha.

He was my rock. Solid. Safe. My moment of folly turned out to be the most colossal mistake I'd regret to this day.

And I swear, until today, no one -absolutely no one- has quite a handle on my temper. It's that time of the month again sigh..

For the sake of the fasting month, I hope my words don't sting too much. Cos I know I'm most creative when it comes to profanities. Heh.  

Sleepless night. Or maybe too excited to see you.

And now I'm know I'm also retarded cos I spent 20 minutes of precious sleep writing this crap. Hahah.

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