YANHEAT.

KAMPEH!

2010-12-31T04:49:00.000+08:00

To Lenny + van Laackers:

Who saw me through my good, bad and ugly days.

Quite literally hahah.

To my fellow Supers:

Who truly are my saviours. ♥

To my (un)mok + boncet + botak boys:

For letting me be your spoilt brat, every single time. Heh!

FYI, I don't like ya'll botak.

To Seth:

For whom I've honestly lived the past 5 years for.

And to my family:

For whom I'll live the rest of my life for. :)

Cheers to all the good memories and I'm leaving the rest in 2010. So yeah, that's it. Actually.... I'm moving outta here. Heh. I'm guessing it's about time also. What with all the sentiments attached here =| Loved you while it lasted. So for the last time..

CIAO MAFAKERS!

The fifth and last.

2010-12-27T00:05:00.001+08:00

I swear if there ever was a zombie infestation, I'd be the first to go. I get infected by other people so easily! I rarely get sick on my own cos it's usually the doing of other people that gets me sick. :/ Or maybe in a twist of the plot, I'm one of those few immune to the zombie virus eh. Hehehe.

Oh my. Maybe I really am turning into a zombie! The sore eyes and I swear I tasted blood when I coughed! In that case, it's a dream come true. I've always loved zombie movies heh.

Hopefully I'm one of the cool ones. Like the sprinting Resident Evil ones who are too fast for yo. Not like the boring dumbass Walking Dead ones who can get fooled just by spreading zombie juice on your clothes sheesh. Or maybe the Witch from l4d, bitch is damn lepak and it's what I've always wanted. One stupid mat kacau me, I'll kill him in one hit wuhuhu!

Okay seriously now. I'm missing you sorely and my eyes only got worse last night. :( I'm gonna miss the blinking lights your messages leave me. I don't even know why I'm putting myself through this when I just wanna get better. Stupid sore eye.

I swear it was better yesterday. It's almost 7. Goodnight zombies.

Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld
Powered by Gee! from StarHub

Don't we all?

2010-12-26T02:56:00.001+08:00

If only you actually made time for me, you'd see that I'm the happiest when I'm with you. Really.

I don't want it to ennnnnnnnndddd. Please no pleeeease no no no no no no no :(

But I suddenly wake up and realise it was only just a dream. The end.
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld
Powered by Gee! from StarHub

Spamming meds.

2010-12-24T21:00:00.001+08:00

Christmas gave me flu, dry cough, sore eyes and now I lost my nametag. That's ten fucking bucks down the drain. Plus, it's raining outside so I should be at home, SLEEPING.

I can't say this enough, who the HELL gets married or hold a function on xmas?! I mean gimme a break! It's the holidays! Sheeesh.

And the dumbass who's making the announcements keeps saying "xmas" as literally x-mas. What the hell. Why do they choose either pasar aunties or pinoys to make the announcements?!

I'm feeling sour about the ten bucks and so bloody ticked off at the prospect of having cacat eyes on my holiday photos.

Bleaaaah. Come back already bb.. :(

Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld
Powered by Gee! from StarHub

I picture the fool.

2010-12-23T17:16:00.001+08:00

And although there's pain in my chest
I still wish you the best with a...
Fuck you!

Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld
Powered by Gee! from StarHub

Shut up and put the money where your mouth is.

2010-12-21T03:21:00.002+08:00

It's amazing how when some things happen and I put my life into perspective, it makes me realise how unimportant some of my problems are. Okay maybe not amazing, just an eye opener.

I don't know how to describe today.

Was worried like a mother fucking fuck and shaking and so pissed off that it had to happen while we were ALL helplessly in the car and I was fucking driving summore. I swear to God, it was such a blur I don't even remember how I managed to get us there.

It was like a parasite eating me inside out at the back of my head throughout dinner but still, I honestly can't make out how I feel. And all of us partially felt guilt. That, is for sure.

Right now, things are settled down and I'm still mother fucking pissed off because I can't decided who's more selfish. Her, for doing this to all of us or me for being pissed that I didn't manage to get a nice last night out with my girls.

I still love you as it's my duty to do that, no matter what. But today, I lost all my respect for you. Because I can never imagine doing that to my own mother.

My head ache is killing me now. Nights.

One babat roll. A big one.

2010-12-19T01:38:00.003+08:00

Someone uploaded one of my favourite Sheila on 7 song. And it brought me back to more than five years ago, when me and my (then) best friend were lost in the huge Pasir Ris Park. I started to get frantic (and a bit miang) so the first person I called was you. It was always you. The first person I look for and wanna be with, for whatever whenever. (Mostly when I need directions hahahahah.) I can only hope I love my husband that much.

Ohyah, back to the story. So while we were on the phone I randomly sang Sephia to fill up the still night and then you suddenly said "Eh, don't sing that song. Lagu hantu!"

And I believed you. Actually, even up till today I don't know whether it's true or not leh. Can someone please tell me? Hahaha. The trust was undeniably strong and I simply believed you.

I've been thinking of you so much these days I zone out during work a lot. Hahah. I know of a million things to say and do to make things better but my ego is too huge to let me bring it down.

Oh wells. I thank God that I'm blessed with awesome girlfriends and funkiest mates ever. They get me through, every single time. :)

And I think I should put a stop to this. Someday, when I'd have enough of this emo-ness (God knows when haha) and finally want to actually move on, I'm so leaving this space.

Okay now I'm in a dilemma. My stomach is hungry but my eyes are heaaaavy..

Hahaha. MAKANNNNN!

Hey bebeh hey bebeh hey

2010-12-14T04:04:00.001+08:00

I'm sorry I'm so mean sometimes..

Vulgar post ahead.

2010-12-12T23:57:00.002+08:00

I FUCKING HATE MAT REMPITS. PERIOD.

Irritating dick heads. Yeah YOU, if you have an indecent noisy fenetik 2B bike and honk incessantly for no FUCKING reason but to disturb innocent girls, FUCK YOU. I know you're probably alien butt ugly behind those tinted visors and need a kick once in a while, but go to your Dblo or karaoke pubs or bilek pangkeng, you miang black balls.

If I could throw a fucking rock, no, BOULDER at you or maybe a tree trunk or even a stick through your neon coloured spoke rims (pikir cool ah tu mat?) Indiana Jones style, and then eventually kill you but not go to Hell, I would. Imagine! Like every fucking time a mat honks at me, they will die. Oh my, let's not get me excited hehe.

Then again, I hate those mats in cars who honk for no reason either. Okay, I hate typical irritating attention seeking mats. Here, _|_ SUCK ON IT MOTHER FUCKER.

God, I HATE WOODLANDS.

Yaaaawwwwns.

2010-12-08T04:58:00.001+08:00

I darkened my hair today. DIY.

So YAY ME! I don't look like a poor brown streaked fail dye job minah anymore. Heheheh. Happy night for me. Excited for the upcoming year. :) So good night suckers!

Chao-outside!

My pet peeve:

2010-12-06T03:11:00.004+08:00

Having people use my DSLR to take photos thinking they can handle the Manual mode.

There's a reason why I leave it at P and AF for God's sake*. Because I DO NOT wanna end up with under exposed or ESPECIALLY blurry photos, even the slightest bit.

Trying to upload photos now and I'm mother fucking annoyed to the max. Huarrrrghhhh.

(*Only when I'm out with people and I need my camera to perform as efficient as a digicam.)

You know who you are.

2010-12-05T00:55:00.002+08:00

I'm tired like hell but I have to get this out before I sleep. Heh.

I think I've lost one too many besties and losing you would have sucked soooo bad beyond belief. Hell, I was even questioning my ability to keep a best friend. But I was really angry cos losing you that way was probably the most idiotic and ironic way to lose someone I care so much about. And I know myself, I'm most angry when I pretend like it doesn't even bother me. Haha.

Omg I need to tahan this wind tempting me to *laaalaaaland*... Heh.. But okay last kopek:

So what I really wanna say is, boys come and go (yes, even that flabby dude I may seem chummy with) but YOU are forever. And for it to be forever, you won't be one of those boys. I love you too much for that bro. Really.

Goodnight :)

Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld
Powered by Gee! from StarHub

You make me:

2010-12-01T00:02:00.002+08:00

DEEEEEEZ HAPPY

^____________^

Well knowing me, sadness doesn't last long. After all, PMS always goes away after a while. I swear it feels like for a moment, you got hit with a dementia stick and become all paranoid and depressed. Hahaha. Glad to get that out of the system.

As you can see photos here, you'll soon see photos getting uploaded soon. From Azip's birthday to mine. Hehhhhh... Even though belated, we celebrated his birthday like, early October sia. Yes, I'm the Queen of Procrastination. ^_________^

You know why? Because I've been working my ass off. You know why? So I can get a faaaaaaat pay check like I did today. Again: ^________^

Heeeeehaw. But I already spent a lot the past month. So savings it is! Lalalalalaaa~ Happy cos it's finally my off day tomorrow :D

Goooood night suckers!

Fall season.

2010-11-30T04:13:00.001+08:00

Or so I thought... O_O

And dear loved one, I know you might be sad (wait, what?! MIGHT?) and even though I'm having one of those "moments", I want you to know that I'll put everything aside just to make you happy or see you smile. Well, actually I'm sure you knew that already. Hahahah. Love you hun.

*cue water works*

Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld
Powered by Gee! from StarHub

Just sometimes.

2010-11-28T22:46:00.001+08:00

I want the boy who looked at me and saw the whole world in his eyes.

The boy who'd ache to see me the moment we're apart.

Who'd never fail to send me an elaborate text just to say good night.

Where is that sweet innocent boy? I don't know. But what I know is that I loved him, not you. And it still pains me to admit so.

But you know what sucks the most? That I know that boy is still there, but just not for me anymore.

Tomorrow comes and this will go away.. :)

Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld
Powered by Gee! from StarHub

6 is a good number.

2010-11-28T01:45:00.003+08:00

Slightly depressed. Bought a pair of shorts at the flea just now and when I got home, I realised I couldn't fit into it. :( I know I've been letting my fluff steadily grow (still nothing above 45 suckaaa!) but I think it's time for change. I feel queasy with all the excess weight I'm not used to and just generally unhealthy. I should remember to ask Quirky how many times per week I have to actually exercise. Hahahahaha.

Had a fucking blast today. Discovered the holy awesomeness which is Salmon Karaage. Knn fucking nice please. And the girls gave me a box full of memories and fucking hilarious slash retarded Neopreeentz. Hahahah. Love you all like crazy, I swear. :) HUGGGGS!

We're finally done turning 20 eh. Heh. Good night!

Smelly cunts.

2010-11-26T13:06:00.001+08:00

Okay, Number 1: Your bus is mother fucking filthy.

Number 2: I spammed AT LEAST three different fucking bells but NONE worked to alert you that I want to alight.

And Number 3: You dropped me off at the NEXT stop and then forget to open the door for me to alight. I had to use the further door. (It was the long bus kind.)

Singapore, you should stop hiring mother fucking retarded China bastards as fucking bus drivers. Fuck you.

Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld
Powered by Gee! from StarHub

Yo Phat Princess.

2010-11-25T03:38:00.001+08:00

I'm one damn lucky bitch. Well if five people managed to wish me a Happy Birthday, I'd still say I feel blessed because I'm always grateful for everything I get. :)

Something weird happened tonight though. Towards the end I felt somewhat overwhelmed with emotions and suddenly broke down. I've no doubt that PMS might have played a part, but I was thinking of my Mum. Oh God I love her to death.

I had the urge to text her and she called before I could even message. And for the rest of the night, she called me twice and crept over to my room just to make sure I was home. Which is damn RARE. Hmmm.. I call it a mother's instinct. If not, just a fat co-incidence hahaha.

Well, work tomorrow. Nothing like a buzzkill to pull me back to the ground again. Hahahah. Zzz.

Thanks for today babes. Love you truck loads and I'm honestly so happy I think I'd hafta sleep with a smile on my face hahaha. Best one evaaaah! :)

Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld
Powered by Gee! from StarHub

2010-11-24T01:12:00.001+08:00

Hope it doesn't rain. :)

Dumdeeduummmm~ :)

Oh you make me smile.

2010-11-18T11:54:00.000+08:00

Watched Potter sneak previews last night and it was..... OH MY GOD, I wanted to pee in my pants. Quite literally because of my fucking weak bladder but that's not the story here.

Nuclear booked those tickets and I swear they were the BEST seats ever! Like smack in the fuckin middle. It pays to be kiasu sometimes heheh.

And the atmosphere of fellow Potter fans was ridi-fuck-culous! Heheheh. I think the most adorable scene was when Dobby and Kreacher were fighting to talk to Harry. And especially since not being in the book, it was a pleasant unexpected surprise heh.

If given, I'd be talking about Harry Potter all day. Heh. Ahhh.. Worth every cent and if anyone wants to watch again, I'd be glad to accompany! And be the commentator heheh. And tt Nas has amazing memory having last read the book probably YEARS back. Haha.

Back at work, in the bloody morning. Bathed like a cowboy, moved like a ninja even though I overslept! Hehhh.

I'm all smiles today because I'm turning 20 soon and everything's already set to be better than last year, I don't even doubt it. Heh. I'm just hoping the rain won't ruin all the plans.

This year is passing waaay too fast and in a weird way, it's great that it started so lousily. So the only way to go is up! It's amazing how much I don't give a shit about the things that tore me up and made me cry for nights. All that shit is over now. Or at least until I have another boyfriend. (The mere thought of it already bores me to death.) Men do nothing but slow us the fuck down and it gets tiring to look after another okay?

Maybe when I'm older. I'm gonna be grateful someday that I didn't waste my youth being tied up like an old married couple. I have the rest of my life for that eh? Then again, I'm saying all this only cos the Malay boys I know are absolutely hopeless. Hahahaha. I ain't gonna go multi-racial again lah fuck. Hahahaha.

Whatever it is, I'm happy where I'm at right now. Love you like madness. Truly. :)

Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld
Powered by Gee! from StarHub

Dear Speedster

2010-11-14T18:06:00.001+08:00

Hello sexybuns I miss youuuuu.

Love,
Fuck You Silly.

My brain is not right today. Heeeeeh.. It goes like zzzz pump thump kphump thump thump zzzz over and over.

I want to buy Taboo. Baby if I got you I don't need no parachuuuuuteEe~

Faster go home time leh. Ciao~
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld
Powered by Gee! from StarHub

Mundane-ness.

2010-11-10T11:09:00.001+08:00

Hi, it's been a while. :)

Nothing's much except for the normal draggy morning shifts, tempers flying, hilarious girlfriends, dodging ugly security guards. Basically the usual hate and love.

Damn it's a shitty feeling to get spotted coming in late by your own boss. Pffft. Boring work days ahead. I'm yawning my face off.

Bah. Good morning... (God I hate saying that.)
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld
Powered by Gee! from StarHub

Why does it feel so good.

2010-11-03T00:28:00.001+08:00

It's been more than just a few years but even the thought of you makes me smile and seeing you gives me butterflies, no matter how much I might have hated you the night before. Honestly, if this ain't love, I don't know what it is. How the hell do you suppress those kind of instinctive reactions?

I know without a doubt that you're meant for me. But that doesn't mean it's mutual. Aiyah....

GAHHH WHY YOU SHO ADOWABLEEEE!!

Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld
Powered by Gee! from StarHub

TDH WOOOOOH!

2010-10-30T04:41:00.004+08:00

Come to think of it, maybe it's a good thing Johnny didn't play Sirius Black. Else I'd have bawled my eyes out even more. And stupid of me to have watched the last Potter film with some rude dumb ass who fell asleep and complained so much, I couldn't concentrate on the movie. Fucking mats. I'm going with my hardcore fellow HP fans this time round. You Twilight mother fuckers can suck on it.

Fuck off, I've read those books too and it's nowhere near as good. I'm not being biased, trash is trash. So if you diss HP then yeah, you deserved to get a good fuck off.

Okay, back to happy thoughts. NOV 18 YAY! :D

And when all the movies comes out on DVD, I'm gonna grab the whole set! And make sure my kids grow up to watch these soon-to-be classics. Hehhhh. I would loooooove to get all 7 Potter books for my birthday! OMG girls, we don't have to go out for my birthday. Each one of you can buy me one Potter book (even though I already have some hahaha) (hard cover eh thanks....) then we'll call it even :D :D Hahahah cb thick skin.

Still on Cloud 9. Spamming Potter trailers now. And re-reading the book just to cram as many facts as possible because I swear I've read Deathly Hallows AT LEAST five times SLOWLY and I still find myself guessing at what comes next. Hahaha. What! Sometimes it's too exciting I skim over the page okay! Can't help it. Even though it's the fifth sixth seventh time reading hahahah.

If you're not a Potter fan, you probably didn't reach til this line. :( Hahahah good night!

The morning after.

2010-10-29T21:47:00.001+08:00

Somehow, still on Cloud 9 heheh.

Maybe it has something to do with the fact that it's the end of a long week of work and I get to see my girls tomorrow! Whom I miss dearly.

Or maybe it's cos I'm gonna have a looong weekend with a guaranteed no Monday blues. Here's a hint, to avoid having Monday blues, don't even work on a freakin Monday.

Or maybe cos it's my dad's coming back in a few weeks and he's coming home with a present for this spoilt brat. Hopefully something Burberry. And smells nice. Hehhhh. Him coming back is an awesome gift itself.

Aiyah, most probably cos I'm just easily content. I want to freeze frame this point of my life and stay in this youth forever. Amazing how a bunch of awesome friends (this is where I mention the boys heh), a comfortable income, a great family and home can make you really happy. What else is the point of life?

And sorry for the typos and grammar mistakes. Hahahah hardly have the time to get on my laptop these days.

Goodnight baby. :)
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld
Powered by Gee! from StarHub

Hehe :):)

2010-10-28T03:19:00.000+08:00

Now THAT'S what's green and pink. Heh. Aiyah, I know you secretly read me lah. You're just as obsessed about me lor. Hahah. No matter what, at the end of the day, you always make me happy. Dude you're the best fatty I loooove you. :)

I'm happy todaaaay. Good night people!

Aieee, I lost count. Hahahahahah.

Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld
Powered by Gee! from StarHub

Brad Pitt is a man whore.

2010-10-26T17:03:00.002+08:00

One of my biggest dreams is to meet and hug Johnny heheh. So I often wonder what I'd do or say if I were to see him say, while holidaying most probably. Or if I'd be too starstruck. Hahah. Today, I found the perfect question.

"Hi Johnny! As an actor who's proud to only do movies that have strong characters and doing it not for the fame or money.. What the FUCK are you doing in a movie with THE MOST boring actress slutface Angelina Jolie?!"

"Oh, and did she make a move on you too?"

Pfttttttt. It better be good JD.

Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld
Powered by Gee! from StarHub

Home is where you are.

2010-10-25T02:35:00.002+08:00

I just screamed and screamed. Until I didn't realise the water works were flowing. For once I let all the anger and frustrations seep out of me. And now I'm drained and I don't know what to feel. I got it all out but I don't even know if you were listening. Listening is one thing. The next step is understanding. The step after is accepting. And the final step is changing.

And I don't trust you enough that you can withstand all of that.

This is a fucking waste of my time.

And to the chee bye ah beng staring over at what I was typing furiously on my BB. Fuck you, you stupid ugly dog face.

On a brighter note, I found my Halloween outfit!

And I know of a certain pariah who doesn't need a costume and can pass off as the Volcano-Faced-Man. Hahahahaha. Omg, I take digs at people to entertain myself. Or at least make myself better. Hell, I was doing it the whole of last night! Heheh.

Need to cool the fuck down already. Oh, and sleep.

Retards.

2010-10-16T16:17:00.001+08:00

"Es-kui me, don't mind if you want to cough, don't cough here. Cos our food will be here."

#1 - I was here first fatty.

#2 - I wasn't even coughing towards you?! I fucking TURNED my head away okay!? What the fuckery is this.

Instead of just a cough, maybe you should be more worried about me throwing up in your face.

Yes, I got infected with some fucker's flu/sore throat/fever bug. My body is so weak I want to vomit right fucking now. My 100% reliable boy is coming to send me home soon. He's such an angel sometimes when I'm down like this, it makes me wanna cry.

First time I have to tell my boss I need to run home early. Sheesh. Will get something to eat, maybe later. I need to puke my face out. :'( I can't even stomach this hot tea!
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld
Powered by Gee! from StarHub

The first best thing.

2010-10-14T18:41:00.001+08:00

I was talking about you with Nuclear today and I can't say what we were talking about (hehhh) but when she asked me to imagine your face, the first thing I thought of was your smile. It's been a while since I felt this way but I was overwhelmed with this warm fuzzy feeling which is to say, I miss youuu.. I want you all to myself on Friday can! And maybe Sunday too :D

I miss you and un-mok. Maybe if I were to be the one leaving, you'd understand how this feels like. Boo. It's okay, less than 2 years left heh.

Today I'm happy. Just because. Hehe.
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld
Powered by Gee! from StarHub

Like real only.

2010-10-11T01:08:00.002+08:00

Some days I wish to tell you how much I love you and how badly I'd die inside if I ever lose you, what with all this pushing you away to draw a line. Sometimes I wish things were less complicated and our friends won't look at us that way. Things would definitely be a lot easier. But if it was easier, then maybe we wouldn't have tried this hard. :)

I think you've molded to become a part of me now, I don't even wanna think of when you find someone else and she'd inevitably replace me.

For the love of God, I just hope it's not gonna be some foul-mouthed minah.

Hahahahaha *looks at myself in the mirror* hahahahaha

Goodnight baby. (Only I can say lah fuck hahhahahaah)

Shut the fuck up.

2010-10-10T05:09:00.001+08:00

I am seriously sick of the "Hallo muuuuum" and the random bouts of singing AT THE TOP OF THEIR VOICES. Shut the mother fucking fuck up dick head. I am NOT interested in hearing your stupid voice or look at your super-cannot-make-it pinoy boyband dance moves. And I especially DO NOT wanna see you putting on your lip gloss and pouting at the mirror you bloody pondan. Or practice your gay cumming face (I'm not even kidding.) Oh my eyes.. THEY BURRRNN.

And I just HAVE to walk away when they start talking amongst each other. Oh. My. God. Shut up shut up SHUT UPPPPPPPP!!!!

I swear the perfume aisle is like little Philippines. MUST YOU BE SO LOUD SERIOUSLY?!

Plus it's a Sunday and all their cb friends come and visit. What the fuck.

Unexpectedly amazing.

2010-10-10T03:33:00.000+08:00

Oh God. Am FINALLY done with the Raye photos.

I'm so sick of it and enough photos for the night eh.

I want to puke.

And my head is spinning. Back to work tomorrow... :|

GOODNIGHTTT!

Hungry angry.

2010-10-09T23:06:00.002+08:00

I'm so fucking hungry it's ridiculous. I wanna eat lahhh. Or at least drink something after all that load of crap I had to carry. Maybe I should set up a twitter. Then I can rant as much as I want haha. Then I'd need to set up a tiny twitter shoutout on my blog. Bleah. It's more work than anything really.

I'm exhausted and hungry and honestly, I want nothing more than to be on my bed and sleep. But my room is thrashed and disgusting but I can't find the fucking time to sort things out without being late for something or another ughhhh...

Hungry angry. But my mokmok is blanje-ing us pizza today wuhuhu :D He scolded me for calling him mok cos he insists he's not gemok anymore. Which is true. But stillllll... Heh.

October is so fucking packed. It's crazy. And I desperately need sleep........

What's green... And pink?

2010-10-06T02:53:00.001+08:00

Heheheheeeee my cute loooooove :D

I honestly have no idea what the hell I'm doing awake at this hour when I'm working the morning shift tomorrow. Hahaha seriously, somebody whack me to sleep already.

My dad's left for Dubai again. It was.. Urghhhhh... But I couldn't show it.. Even though it gets easier, doesn't mean it's easy at all. :/ Hopefully he'll come back soon and see the house ready :) I love my parents dearly, really..

I'm scaring myself with the amounts I'm eating these days. I know I'm happy, but maintain ah girl oi~ Stomach like belon already siol. *sad but not really sad cos I'm happy face*

I pray that I won't have zombie or hamster or fugitive dreams so I'd wake up on time tomorrow. Hahaha. Good night fellow fatties!

#22 heh.

2010-10-05T03:27:00.002+08:00

Ooooh I miss your rock hard abs. Your steely biceps. Your crooked smile. And most especially your dimpled laughs. Imma hug you til you dieeeee if I see you mmmmmph.

You smell exactly like a mistake should. God forsakenly dangerous... Heeeeeh.

Terrific. :)

Shmexy.

2010-10-03T13:15:00.002+08:00

If anyone asks me, I'd say I hate iPhones because of the sentiments (more like anger) attached to it AND of course, how bloody fucking common it is. Even banglas and maids are using it wtf. You know what "jatoh saham" means? Ah yes. Hahaha. It just ain't cool anymore.

But I'm so sorry, iPhone 4 is sumpah sexy woooooh. And best of all, no sentiments attached to it but then again, when I see the matreps carrying it around, I'm gonna despise it again. Haha.

I had zombie dreams last night and saw some people I know get killed I couldn't immediately get back to sleep which resulted in being late for work! Try 2 hours late. Hahaha.

It's a Sunday for fuck's sake!

Retarded Dog Shit.

2010-10-02T02:59:00.003+08:00

I don't get how some people are so bloody stupid.

Which part of Fuck Off do you not understand?

FUCK OFF!

Best mohawk ever!

2010-09-30T18:55:00.002+08:00

Here's how one of the best Wednesdays I've spent in a long time went about. In point form. Heh.

1) Boutique hours pushed earlier. Farkchu.
2) Sambal fingers.
3) Magic fingers. Hahahaha.
4) Pee. Cb.
5) Secretly screaming Sweet Child O' Mine heh!
6) Hoping for a crash.
7) Quality time.

Simple and unplanned. Just the way I like it. :)

Today you see a happy Yan $.$ hehhhh. Ciao!

Seashells pleaseeee.

2010-09-29T00:49:00.003+08:00

I wish I'd stop making myself believe what isn't true. I try my darndest to be positive but I can't. Trust isn't a word that exists anymore to me . I don't think I can forge anymore relationships from this point onward. It sucks that it has to be this way and it has to be so hard. But the heart feels what it wants to feel.

Confusion. Anger. Paranoia. And to block out possible pain, Distrust.

Period faster come and go lah tsk.

Tired like saggy balls.

2010-09-26T02:11:00.001+08:00

I've been working at the Millenia boutique for the past two days. And the moment I stepped there, I remember whom I last went there with.

As I recall, I was crying pretty badly after a terrible day. I think it was during that time when I was first kicked out of school and was somehow majorly dead broke. He consoled me, hugged me and convinced me that things would work out soon enough..

I won't deny that he helped me a lot but I'd still like to say... "FUCK YOU JANTAN KEPARAT!" for all those other hard times he put me through. Hahaha.

Watched that stupid lagenda setan show again. (Bal made everyone watch sia!) I would literally cringe siak. Psychotic crap seriously.

Otherwise, jalan raye with the boys was a blast. Aside from wanting to blast a bomb down the throats of the others who pentingkan their keje. Chee bong.

I've jelly legs already. And more jalan raye tomorrow. *wails* because my Daddy just came back 2 days ago heh! Okay ciao!

I'm sorry.

2010-09-23T03:19:00.002+08:00

And that's all that I can truly say.. :(

Best I ever had :)

2010-09-22T10:08:00.001+08:00

Even when I say it, I know it sounds dubious. From now on, I'll just introduce him as a friend, the "best" being a silent one.

They will make assumptions. And get confused when we talk rough. (I.e. Not lovingly. At all.) They might wonder why then are we physically close. Then stare in awe when we both talk about other boys or girls. And they'll see we're good for each other but by then, they'll know we're not like that.

It's the things you don't say that'll make them understand. When you're not guilty, you don't need a confession.

Oh he's just a friend. :)

P.S. If anyone asks, my weekend was great! Heh. Food food food. No money also nevermind. All the food was awesome. SUP TULANG SIOOOOL! :D

And yes, I did put on weight. First time sia, Raye weight! Heheheh. Ciao~

Some wounds don't heal.

2010-09-21T23:35:00.002+08:00

I was looking at last year's Raye photos. And aside from getting annoyed (AGAIN) about the number of photos that had to get deleted (yes, I'm still very pissed off about it), I realised that this year, I just have to bring my DSLR. Can't fucking rely on my lousy as shit Nikon digital camera. Like seriously, I wonder why they make such shitty digicams tsk.

Because of that fucker, I couldn't get a single decent photo of the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland. Tsk.

And I swear you'll see my Paris photos.... Someday. Hahahahaha.

Fire drill at 8 fucking AM. And I just came home from work. Fucking ridiculous. -_-

Flames to dust.

2010-09-19T12:34:00.001+08:00

Hi, my name is Seri Hidayani and I'm an alcoholic.

When I got my first taste, I was 15. I had no intentions of getting hooked but the addiction isn't something one would anticipate. Things were beautiful during those few glorious years. I was at the top of my game. I looked forward to waking up every morning knowing that with it in my hands, nothing can truly break me. Happiness was an understatement.

But like all good things, it began to strain me out after a while. I felt powerful enough that nothing could break me down. But what I didn't expect was that it itself would be the cause of my doom.

Many things happened throughout the years. Sometimes its effects would make me the most jolly and happiest person alive. But things got rough, it tore me apart. And when those around me discovered my problem, it began to tear us apart too.

I began to get defensive and insisting that it wasn't a problem. How can it be? It makes me happy and will always be at my disposal when I need it to. When I started to indulge more, I learned to stop telling people.

They don't understand us, I thought.

If I can handle it myself, through the good and bad, why should I let them pass judgement. This is my life and my choices after all.

But when I started losing those very people who loved me, my guilt began eating me alive. I had to do something. I had to make a choice.
And I made it. I said I'd get rid of it to prevent anymore intoxicating memories which has marred my life. I told my loved ones that it's high tide for me to move on. To learn that no matter how happy it made me, the lows just wasn't worth it.

But here I am, and I've come to make a confession. I'm like every alcoholic. I can't go cold turkey. I keep trying but it just keeps coming back to me, somehow. I've been secretly taking small doses. Once a week mostly, twice on the rare occasions.

I know I can control it. I can control my feelings to not get affected by the lows too much this time. Just enjoy the ride while it lasts. I have it under control and I won't let it be an addiction anymore. But that's what every alcoholic says isn't it?

God help me now. Because everyone knows this is a battle only I can fight.

(P.S. Don't be a doofus, it's as clear as day that I don't drink, so don't interpret it so literally hahah.)

False alarm: Caffeine intolerance.

2010-09-14T01:00:00.000+08:00

She was like a message sent to me from above. I know it sounds cheesy and I can't count enough the number of times I've read that very same line. But this time, it feels real. (Yet another cliche..)

I've been feeling groggy the whole day. To be more specific, I've been feeling like there's a mist surrounding me. Like I'm trapped behind a smoke screen. I wonder if this is how it feels like when someone hexes you.

The ground feels like it's spinning when I shut my eyes for a second too long. My fingers quiver ever so slightly and everything around me sounds amplified.

But I keep on chatting like everything is fine, even when my lunch threatened from the back of my throat. Ugh. That was when it happened.

We've been talking for the past two hours and naturally, the topics got deeper. I know I can trust her so I told her everything. At least everything that I could fit in the next hour anyway. In a way, I liked telling my stories. Girls love talking about themselves what right hahah.

The first thing she had to say to me was, "Tinggalkan dia." "Leave him." It was firm, without a hint of hesitation. And for a moment, my head cleared up and I know my future with that kind of scum bag is already stated. Along with a billion other stories of unrepentant cheating men, hers included.

"I already have," I lied.

And then my head fogged up again. Ugh. I think I'm going to throw up.

Sour.

2010-09-13T21:42:00.001+08:00

Had such a jack assed lousy day, I can't even talk about it. Hah.

Went home with a souvenir of a bruised foot. Silly me. Tsk. Gnight.

As fat as it is.

2010-09-11T02:45:00.001+08:00

I realise over the years that whenever I'm angry or sad or heartbroken especially, I will lose appetite to eat and majorly thin down. But when I'm happy and truly content with life, I get chubbier and chubbier.

And suffice to say, I swear I'm gaining the pounds. Heh. Ah what to do. :)

I still can't believe one whole bloody month of fasting went by just like that. Like, that was mother freaking fast? Now it's Syawal and I bet September is gonna zoom by even faster. Heck, I'm already making plans for October sia.

I'm slightly sour I won't get to meet my friends this weekend.. :/ Been so wrapped up with preparations and family obligations. Bleah..

Monday is back to work and for once, I wish our raya celebrations lasts as short as the CNYs.

At least I got to stir up a racket with them crazy noisy sparklers heeehee. I swear I love sparklers. And blowing bubbles. And doll houses!!! Heh good night people.

Chill the fuck out.

2010-09-05T22:10:00.001+08:00

Thank God I wasn't working over the weekend or else I'd have been majorly fucking pissed off! Read the papers abt the crazy mother fuckers queuing for the fucking K-Pop tix. Seriously?! Korea is not that far... -_- Fly there already sheesh.

Slightly cranky cos it's Sunday already and I've to work tomorrow. And Raye preparations are starting. Tsk. Cleaning... Cooking.. CLEANING zzz.

"Do alligators make pig noises?!" -Khloe. Hahahaha my God I love the Kardashians. And Kourtney just killed a bug with her Louboutins hahaha. I love her but that Scott is a fucking douchebag, as much as he looks like a real life Ken. Pfftt.

Goodnight fags.

Aching bones & Hunger.

2010-09-05T15:40:00.002+08:00

My grandpop is the cutest thing ever. He's starting to be hard of hearing on his right ear these days. I hope it goes away soon. :/

Once, due to a side effect of an anti-biotic, I went slightly deaf and OMG it was just the worst ever. (I'm sure being blind is worse but let's not get depressing here..) When I went deaf, I ignored most people, blasted the tv volume to 30 and people had to come right up to my ear to speak to me. And also at the same time, I'd lost my voice. Balls.

That was the most retarded I've been all my life, seriously. Never again please.

Like it outweighs all other emotions, I'm mtfing hungry. Feed me pleaseee.

Don't you just hate it when you wanna get out of your room so badly to bathe/eat/go to the toilet but you just woke up and there are guests outside. Tsk. That's what I hate most about Raye kns.

And my Dad is so moody he hardly wants to talk to my Mum even. Fuck you motherfucking mapleks who totally paitao-ed my Dad. Seriously fuck you very much.

In no mood for Raye. Just signed up for more work days. Hmph.

Ha Ha Loser.

2010-09-05T01:42:00.001+08:00

My favourite outfit is still my favourite blue tank top, with my jeans, and blue hicuts. Paired with one of my many jackets. When I wear jeans, I almost feel like I deserve the right to sit however the fuck I want hahaha.

Another tiring day. Because fuck my alarm clock for waking me up at noon lah eh. Chee bai.

I had the most delicious Ayam Penyet ever. Maybe I haven't realised the one at Taka's canteen tastes like shit haha. Even with my teeth hurting and all, man it was awesome! CONTENT. Heh.

Went ~shopping~ and even as we talked much about it as the hours passed by, I still can't grasp the fact that you're leaving. I just can't. Maybe when I see you botak. Or while we're having our last breakfast (I don't believe there ever was a first hahaha) together. Or when I'm driving you there. Or most probably when I have to hug you goodbye. Maybe then it'll sink in.

You'll miss me, I know you will. If you don't, imma give you one of my ninja high kicks heheheh. Oh you know I will.

Sleepytime. Don't anyone dare ask me out tomorrow! I wanna stay home! Heh. Nights.

If you've been wondering why the sudden influx of posts, it's because I've become addicted to my Blackberry and got Mobile Blogger hahahaha.

Hot night sia. Bless me with sweet dreams please. I'm serious!

The three biggest little words.

2010-09-04T01:31:00.001+08:00

I wonder how long it'll last this time. I've learnt to measure my happiness in moments, not months or years anymore. And every word I get out of you seems more precious with every passing day.

I'm not blind to the reluctance in your decision to spend a day with me. But I close an eye, grit my teeth and bite the bullet. I know I'd do whatever it takes to see you. I'll let you punch my ego just this once.

I'm not desperate, just to get that clear. There are plenty of people I decline and sometimes, I even choose to be alone. So my options are open but every day, I've come to realise that I'm just wasting my time. These people don't know me and I'm finding it harder to put up a facade.

With them, my jaw hurts from laughing. And that's when I know it's fake. Because when we laugh, my insides turn out and I double over almost all the time, not caring if a piece of coconut flesh spat out of my mouth a little. Haha. When you're truly that happy, you don't even notice something trivial like your jaw hurting.

I don't think you'd wholly understand me unless you have someone who makes you that happy yourself. And tonight, I'm content. I really am.

Even though we fit like a mismatched jigsaw and there are still issues pulling us apart, I know we're in this for the long run. Cos there's nothing like being comforted by someone who's so familiar. It feels like coming home every time.

You've always been my best friend, and I love you. :)

My only regret today was not taking out my taser gun then ninja kick that bastard off his ugly stock bike onto the concrete floor of the Fountain of Wealth. Pfffftt.

Haha kidding, I don't have a taser gun. Although my boy's mangled shoe would have sufficed. Tsk.

Changed.

2010-09-03T06:43:00.001+08:00

Tonight, I'm plagued with temporary bouts of insanity which inevitably comes with a week of period. I hate being out of control and feeling totally helpless as I watch myself throwing my temper at the closest person who gets on my nerves. And sadly, I'm perpetually surrounded by stupid and/or smelly people haha.

Sometimes it just feels so good to let the anger seep out. Almost like I'm draining the negative energy out of my body. So more often than not, I say things that I don't mean. Actually I speak of truths, only laced with personal attacks because of all the welled up anger. And that is most regrettable. But I can't help it. If I don't let it out, my insides burn and my chest feels like exploding. It's almost like the dark hatred in my heart eats at everything inside and fuels anger through me like a toxin. I simply need to discharge all of it.

I remember there was once upon a time when I didn't get affected by PMS all too badly. He was the only boy who managed to completely dispel all irrational anger out of me. The first time I suddenly blew up at him, was the one and only time.

I don't know what it was about him, but his patience was enough to force me to have me to be more patient. Does that even make sense? Haha.

He was my rock. Solid. Safe. My moment of folly turned out to be the most colossal mistake I'd regret to this day.

And I swear, until today, no one -absolutely no one- has quite a handle on my temper. It's that time of the month again sigh..

For the sake of the fasting month, I hope my words don't sting too much. Cos I know I'm most creative when it comes to profanities. Heh.

Sleepless night. Or maybe too excited to see you.

And now I'm know I'm also retarded cos I spent 20 minutes of precious sleep writing this crap. Hahah.

Scream til your lungs give out.

2010-08-30T01:38:00.004+08:00

I don't get why the only time I come here is when I'm down. It makes me sound like a totally sad little brown ball of pathetics. That doesn't even fucking make sense.

Well can you blame me really? I can't eat while I'm standing at work half the time (totally smart move for taking up all the afternoon shifts heh), Raye is coming (bleah), and I'm totally going nowhere in life otherwise.

Well at least I'm slightly richer. Heh.

Aiyah why you worry? We're all gonna die anyways. And from the way things are going, it's gonna be real soon. Hahah. The world is just not what it used to be. Full of hypocritical, salah bawak, annoying kids. Not to mention the retarded people who are doing shit about global warming.

I won't be surprised if I wake up in the middle of December and it's baking hot. At this rate, I ain't gonna even have kids or they'll be the ones suffering. Plus, like I said, I know they will make my life miserable because karma works like that hahaha.

I need my heroes. Enough boy troubles seriously. Fucking drama.

Someone slap me to sleep please... ZZZ.

A little patience goes a long way.

2010-08-26T02:13:00.002+08:00

I won't deny that I have a terrible temper problem, and that it definitely runs in the family. And it's something I have to consistently keep in check of. And today I've learnt that most of the times, swallowing my sarcastic remarks (even though smart and funny) and generally being nice can go a long way.

Or maybe I'm being too hopeful/optimistic. Hahah.

Even so, there's no harm in trying to correct this problem. Oh dear God, I can already imagine my children being little devils. *dieeeeees* It's okay, I'll probably never find a guy who can keep his dick in his own pants long enough to have a family with me anyways hahahaha. (Uglies need not apply, thanks.)

Amazingly, it's a side of me the girls have yet to see (hopefully never) because they are the only people who honestly keep me happy all the time. And of course, it's hard to lose your temper at all 7 girls at one time haha.

Tralalaaa done with tv. Work tomorrow. Good night!

Kecoh is...

2010-08-25T18:28:00.001+08:00

I secretly cannot wait for tonight. Heeehee. :)

Regrets

2010-08-23T06:29:00.001+08:00

I swear to God, if there was any way I could change that fateful December night...

I would.

It just wasn't worth it.

Go away pffftt.

2010-08-22T06:11:00.000+08:00

Addicted to typing on my phone now, so whenever I use my under-utilised laptop, I'd have annoying habits of using certain buttons unnecessarily. Like wanting to press the ALT button to put a period wth. You get the drift. I hope. If you don't, whatever.

I'm getting more and more short tempered.

There're too many stupid people around me.

My family and girls are the only ones I can rely on right now seriously.

Am gonna try to start skating on Sundays :)

Ciao~

Sometimes I wish I have a more mellow DNA. Bleah.

El numero tres.

2010-08-09T02:43:00.003+08:00

I like my men manly. Heh.

HE'S ONLY 23 SIA WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH!

:):):)

Hello, I want your babies please?

But still, I look like a fucking 16 year old.

Zzz.

When I come arounddd~

2010-08-08T06:12:00.003+08:00

Omg. I swear to God I have a weakness for guys with eyebrow piercings.

HEEEEEEHEH.

Oh my, this is disturbing. Every single eye candy I used to ogle over, I find not a single one of them hot anymore. Hahaha I guess that's the whole point of eye candies. They rot off.

Heh.

Fucking braces. Make me look like a fucking kid I swear.

Goodnight worrrrld! Why is my hair taking so long to dry!? *angry face*

You you you are.

2010-08-03T18:08:00.001+08:00

Always a big fat cheater in my eyes.

My faith in you is fading.

2010-07-31T04:07:00.007+08:00

Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone.

I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run.

I may have said I just want a simple life.

But it only applies if I have him. Only that one boy.

Things change.

Life goes on.

Teehee.

2010-07-31T04:04:00.002+08:00

List of college dropout billionaires

The average net worth of billionaires who dropped out of college, $9.4 billion, is more than double that of billionaires with Ph.D.s, $3.2 billion.
Even if you factor out the world’s richest man, Bill Gates, who left Harvard University and is now worth $60 billion, college dropouts are worth $5.3 billion on average, as compared to those who finished only bachelor’s degrees, who are worth $2.9 billion.

Love will tear us apart.

2010-07-30T01:24:00.001+08:00

But time will heal all wounds. Surely.

Right? :\

Slight bitchfit.

2010-07-28T02:08:00.005+08:00

*FFF..FUCK YOU!*

Someday I'll find a guy who's worth my time.

But right now.... Seriously guys?! My goodness give me a break and fuck off.

For the first time I'm so sick of it. So fucking lazy to layan the incessant messaging. It's bad enough to get from one... BUT THREE?! Why why why why why. And don't get me wrong, I'm not like some skinny bitch who complains she's fat. I'm honestly sincerely annoyed like fuck.

Like, so bad I can burn my favourite bra and stuff it down their throats.

Well I'm sorry I have a lousy LG touch screen phone which annoys me til no end and that I live in Woodlands which has reception like I'm on planet fucking Pluto. So I can't be assed to layan people seriously.

Well unless you're one fire fighter I know..... Heh......

Good night lads! And recognise a fucking HINT when you see one.

What is wrong with me? Why do I get the psychos? I must be sending some wrong signals tsk.

Cranky. Goodnight.

(Sorry if I don't make much sense -___-)

Viva forever.

2010-07-26T04:03:00.004+08:00

The #1 of Spain, Iker Casillas being interviewed by his reporter girlfriend.

His emotions cracks up mid sentence while thanking his loved ones.

So she said, It's okay we'll carry on talking about the World Cup.

And he said, No no..

*Kiss*

Hahahahahaha aww so cuteeee.

The Spanish team flew first class home but Casillas went all the way to the back of the plane to sit with his reporter girlfriend. :)

I'm missing watching them alreadyyyy... :|

The first cut is the deepest.

2010-07-25T03:19:00.000+08:00

Here's a list of things he's ruined for me... In CHRONOLOGICAL order:

- April

- Leaving on an airplane

- Gelato

- Akon's Don't Matter

- Punggol

- "Besties"

- Climb

- Poly life

- My baby girl Amelie :(

- Plain girls

- Days I feel like not wearing make-up

- Dance comps

- ~~Teenagers~~ Secondary school kids

- His Facebook account

- The words: I'll wait for you..

- Ciao fucking bella.

(I'm sure there's more but it's 3.36 AM and my memory evades me right now. Heh. I shall add on when I have those moments where something I see, feel or hear suddenly whacks me in the face with a full-on blast from the past.)

And here I am, at the cross junctures of my life, presented with a lifetime opportunity. An opportunity to forget all of that and finally get on with my life. But I don't know what to do..

Please God, let us make through this. I'm prepared to lose any guy but him. I want him to take my hand when I need him most, yet know that this love is platonic.

I hope you know there's no way I'm gonna risk everything we've had so far, for a moment of folly.

I love you too madly for that. :)

On a very very very unrelated note, I feel like eating Nasi Lemak. Hahahaha.

Hope it gives you hell.

2010-07-23T02:02:00.002+08:00

Every time I find myself falling, yearning for your love and feeling helpless, all I have to do is open that particular file, read the chat logs, feel my heart burn until as far as I can read (well her twit typing O level potential F9 English gets under my skin okay tsk) and then all those feelings disappear. Immediately replaced by pure hatred. Pure anger. And an overwhelming urge to punch your stupid face. My life could do without you, I swear.

Don't you get it? I'M USING YOU.

Hahahahahahhahaha the man slut deserves it. :)

If we don't go...

2010-07-22T01:25:00.000+08:00

BOY WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO WITH 300 BUCKS?! EACH?!

Nyeheheheheh.... *evil grin*

One for the night.

2010-07-16T02:26:00.003+08:00

I decided that I'd find the funniest Gif to crack me up before going to sleep and here it is...

It's simply titled, "Surprised Ninja."

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH Good night :)

(Had to watch a few times and it gets funnier!)

While my hair dries...

2010-07-12T05:40:00.000+08:00

Wrong smiley!!!

Today would be what I call an awesome daaaaay! :)

WE BECAME WORLD CHAMPIONS in the wee hours of the morning. Best off day ever!

MET NASSIEEEEEE! Finally fucking back. In one piece. Haha. Ate mediocre chicken rice at Beach Road after exciting revelations for our trip. And then karaoke. (Hahahahahah) And dinner with the girls. Whenever I'm with them I find it so hard to leave. Hahah awww cheesy.

Azip came along the whole time. Good sport heh. Then we went prawning at night which turned out to be the best first time I could ever ask for. I'm impatient as usual, which is why I can never catch a fucking fish. Hahahah. But prawns were easy balls.

Good fun and had a prawn feast sia. :) :)

Home late and the time taken to edit the above photo cut me TWO hours of sleep WTF? Hahaha yet I find the hardest to upload my Paris photos. Maybe I'm feeling kinda selfish to share.... Heh.

Sleeping happy tonight. WHEEEE~ Work tomorrow of course..

2010-07-10T18:26:00.003+08:00

You are nothing without me.

That much, you need to know.

Haaaaahahahahah bye!

Do you really want itttt!

2010-07-09T00:47:00.002+08:00

We're gonna have an awesome time babe!

Before I become completely miserable when the government slowly pick at all my friends and take them away from me.. :(

I'm totally excited for it but right now, I'm majorly exhausted and need the sleep.

CIAO~

VIVA LA ESPANAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

2010-07-08T04:35:00.003+08:00

ALL YOU FUCKERS CAN GO SUCK ON IT!!!!!!! HAHAHHAHA.

590 COMPLETE PASSES, 80% ACCURACY BEAT THAT MAFAKERS!

Who said the German defence were impenetrable huh! HAHHAHAHA.

FUCK YOU!!!! FINALS SIOLLLL!!!!

Go for glory babies! Because Holland is anti-Islam. Heh.

Zip wasted sak kau gi support Germany. Sayang Puyol kau goal scorer oh haaaaaaai~ Teach you not to peng side eh. HEEEEEH.

Ah fuck mad happy sia! GOOD NIGHT! :D :D :D

Catch some ZZZs.

2010-07-07T14:47:00.002+08:00

There is no wonder why I like to sleep.

I have the most awesome dreams I tell you. They appear like movies to me.

Just last night I dreamt of a thriller starring Geena Davis and Kate Hudson loooool. Don't ask me why. Kate Hudson plays the daughter who gets kidnapped and she looked oddly like the kids from Baby Blues. Hahahahha.

I think I need to shut up and go back to sleep.

The most un-happening off day sia. Maybe I can finally get to unpacking my Eurotrip luggage and sort out the Paris photos. Hahah. Fucking work eating up all my time.

Planning a holiday with bestie next! :D :D :D We've been seeing each other so much the past week I hope he doesn't get bored of me. Plus we have the same hair colour! Hahahaha. Well, sorta.

Match tonight YAY! :D Ciao~

The thing about heartaches:

2010-07-07T01:59:00.004+08:00

I just keep quiet and keep still.

The sooner I drift, the sooner the pain goes.

Please stop screaming at me..

I just need a hug..

Seriously fever.

2010-07-06T00:16:00.000+08:00

OMG. I've been damn busy with....

Stay up whole night for World Cup.... Sleep the few hours. Stay up long enough for work. Go home. Sleep like pig. Go work. Stay up whole night for World Cup.

Hahahahah no kidding. Oh and add to the fact that I fell sick singing fucking Isabella (hahhhaah) and had to recover from sounding like a bapok, which started to annoy the living hell outta me. And scare customers.

I swear I'll be back after I see Spain at the finals... CHEH CHEH.

Haahhahaha it's okay, I'm fucking proud of them that they could even finish to the Top Four. :) Every one's been pretty mean to me about the upcoming Germany match. Hmph.

I stand by my babies. HAH BYEEEEE!

World Cup fever muahahah.

2010-06-26T06:15:00.004+08:00

VIVA ESPANYOL! WOOOOOOOH! Happy like MAD!

Heh, I've FINALLY got the time to chill. Look forward to the weekends like mad siaaa!

Today was freaking awesome. Though it would have been perfect if I'd actually woken up for my morning shift. Fuck balls, I bet I nearly got fired =S

I think the gig was okay. My standard dropped like the Greek economy. -_- But if you have a huge ego like I do, I'd say I have to give myself a pat on the back since I hadn't practise and had one night to learn two new songs. And then I didn't get a chance to refresh the old songs. Personally I think I played like crap cos I can't hear myself but the speakers WERE LOUD. Fucking paiseh please.. I hope the regulars don't stop coming though.. =S They make it so much more fun.

Okay that was a long paragraph haha.

Headed to Nabin's again for.... MY BABIEEEEEEEEEEESSSS :D Spain won so you can go SUCK IT! Muahahaha Villa, you're a fucking star. I'll clean your toilet bowls for the rest of your life if you want me to. Ahhhh.. My babies played well and not a single Yellow throughout so far! :D So nice. Even they played like wussies the second half onwards.... -_- Hahah. Damn Chile played sooo good they didn't even look like they were down one man! Violent assholes though. Hahah. Seriously looking forward to the next match... Meet that tall faggot who ditched Man U. Herh~

Shisha again of course. I first went with Azip earlier this week and we had ~VIP~ seats (yeah right hahah) to watch the match. The atmosphere was awesome, I just HAD to go again. Can we go boys? Please pleaseee pleaseeeee!

Fucking excited for next Wed please!!! :D :D :D

Even if they lose, it'll be a great match. Oh God I wanna see that faggot lose soooo badlyyyy..

Balls I'm so tired. Catch some ZZZs. Meeting the girls later yay! Love you all madly. Goonight! :)

Lucky bitch..

2010-06-22T08:44:00.005+08:00

Why can't you be 27 years younger?

God loves me because I can't sleep despite having work later but it's starting to get dark, gloomy and cold outside. It's cheering me up, I hope it rains. (Yay it is!)

Though please don't flood because I bloody work at Orchard.

Ok thanks love you bye.

Oh dear, I hope they don't make Mok run in the rain! :(

Dear 007,

2010-06-22T07:34:00.005+08:00

I always stop myself from being too happy.
I hate it, but I can't let myself be weak.
You used to be everything to me.

What do you want from me?

This is ridiculous!

2010-06-21T03:07:00.005+08:00

Hello, I'm home btw.

I'm more excited to meet you than I was about the whole trip in the first place! Hahahaha. Well what can I say, I've missed my friends. :|

Ah, this is back to life. Sigh. Gig this Friday! At an absurd time too, so wish me luck! O.O

I hope my life gets back on track soon enough. I'm done hurting the ones I love.

See youuu loveeee!

Oh Johnny...

2010-06-18T07:06:00.002+08:00

Hahahahah. I'm halfway through the first episode in Season 2 and Johnny goes undercover as a blonde '80s woman hahahaha. Fucking cute pleasseeeeee! *melts*

Ahhhh.. Nothing else makes me smile like you do baby :)

Fuck the small world.

2010-06-18T06:25:00.003+08:00

Bitch and I have 21 friends in common......

... THAT'S 21 TOO MANY!

What the fuck is wrong with the world. WHYYYY must she be so closely acquainted with my random school mates; from PRIMARY SCHOOL friends to SECONDARY school friends to HER fucking JC friends AND now POLY... BOTH our poly-s? SERIOUSLY? What the fuck is this crap? Is this some kind of cosmic joke on me huh? Kanasai.

I DO NOT want to see her name suddenly popping out of nowhere on my Facebook homepage! I don't care to go through the hassle of blocking her.... IT'S JUST ANNOYING!

Poor girl, when I put all my anger aside she seems to be a pretty nice girl. :\ Plain, I have to say, but I guess that means she's not a fakie.

Why the fuck does a dude with a limp dick has to decide that his girlfriend of almost 2 years ain't just good enough for him, eh? Stupid motherfucker causing all this hate in the world.

Fuck lah. Pangkah. I can't name my daughter Amelie. Tsk.

Heather love, you can have it.

Fuck smelly cheating ex-es. Tsk. I'm better off watching Johnny!

I've completed 21 Jump Street's Season 1 in one night. Heh. :) He's so delicious, he's so... Ahhhh.. Bye~

And I'm gonna kill the next person who tries to give me shit like Johnny's dead but not following through with it. I swear I will kill you. It's not funny.

Okay enough of this anger, BYEEEEE~

I want to punch your face.

2010-06-17T06:46:00.002+08:00

Blogger is now in Arabic........ WIN.

Feeling like punching a face now. Tsk tsk tsk.

Staying home all the way til Friday. And then off to shopping spree with the few hundreds that I'm left with.. :\ Goodies for the besties (heheh it rhymes!) and shop shop shop shop shop shop hmmm, I should remind myself not to feel so sad cos I spent some on shoes already.

Somebody please cheer me up. My babies lost today :(

I'm slightly dreading going back home cos I know when I touch down, it's gonna be just a mad rush of work work superheroes work work jam work gig work work boys work work jam and it goes on forever until I get another break. Balls.

I love the rush cos being occupied keeps my mind off... stuff. But I remember how tiring it gets and omgggg... -_-

Nvm it'll all pay off. The money will be put to good use.. :\ After all, I've been getting 12 hours of sleep ^_^

Sometimes I wonder why I screw things up so bad when I know the consequences are dire. So bloody stupid. Fucking fucking stupid. BLEAHHHAFHISHF.

Lousy boy. Pfft. GOODNIGHT! Can't wait for Fridayyyy..

Bon Voyage.

2010-06-13T16:41:00.001+08:00

Hello baby, you've been great and I'm gonna miss you. Terribly. You've been the best holiday I've had so far and I'll be back soon. I don't care how, but soon! :(

Ciao bella.

Today was damn sunny.

2010-06-12T05:21:00.008+08:00

@ Piazza Navona

Even though I'm pretty much done with the gazillion fountains from the time in Rome, I still don't get bored of the sculptures. I like picking out which ones remind me of you most. Heh.

Cos they all have boncet like youuuu.. ♥

Actually they're abs (refer to above) but when looked from a certain angle, it looks like a boncet man. Hahahah especially from my angle. Maklumlah shorty...

The one above has just the right amount of babat, with unruly hair and in the perfect pose: FOREVER COMPLAINING ABOUT THE SUN. And you don't see it here, but he had a huge junk. REALLY! Hahahah. I miss you.

But FYI, all the naked sculptures have teeny wieners. I think if they make it too long, confirm get knocked off accidentally! Hahaha. I'm not kidding, most of them have huge balls and then just scrapes of plaster/marble/ceramic where the dick was. Hahaha.

Ahhh if can, I don't wanna go home at all. I'll ship all my favourite people here! :)

Finally went to the Louvre today! :) Annnnd... DISNEYLAND TOMORROW!!! Hahahha I can show off my Disney Princess plasters to them nyeheheh.

14.

2010-06-11T07:45:00.005+08:00

Why do we keep postponing Louvre??!?! *angry*

"That day I thought I saw you."

"I was cycling then I pressed the brakes hard to say hi to you."

Awwwww... Hahahaha. More than anyone else, I can imagine us in Paris. Heh. I know at least you'd entertain me wanting to do the touristy stuff even if it bores you to death. And we'd talk about football and sports and Alan Smith and World Cup the whole time. Especially since Henry's here. -_- Hahah.

"Sekali salah orang.."

Hahahaha.

Whaaaaaaattt my biggest mistake was letting him go what. Hmph.

Rain rain go away..

2010-06-10T01:14:00.006+08:00

Roma photos up!

We decided to stay in today. After all, we've been going out every single day since I took off from Singapore hahaha and it's a little bit too much on my ~old~ mum. Hahahaha. So she wanted to rest today and just as well, cos I have major horrid backaches as usual. :(

Also, outside is raining motherfucking mad.

But my dad went out to buy groceries, came home DRENCHING wet and cooked all of us dinner.. Awww.. My mum woke up from her nap happy of course. (She doesn't like to cook. Or wash. Or iron. Or hmmm... Hahahahah no wonder she spends so much time on the computer.)

I can only wish to have a life partner like my Dad. :\

All we have left now are women beaters, men with genital warts, guys who save up and condone abortion, cheaters (do I even have to say that? lol), nicotine addicts, alcoholics, junkies and the most pathetic of the lot, those with no ambitions.

Hoping that my back ache gets better after tomorrow, I wanna soak in the Parisian sun cos the rain is dampening my mood a lil. (Ignoring that the weather forecast says it's gonna rain all the way till I leave Paris *sadface*)

NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO THE DUBAI HEAT AHHHHH. Then that's when I start wishing for some rain. Heh. Summer sale summer sale summer saleee.. Hmph.

In case you missed me. Heh.

2010-06-09T06:42:00.002+08:00

The Louvre tomorrow!

The sun sets at 9 plus pm and this was taken around that time and we got majorly lost going home cos bus and some train services ends at 10pm what the mother chee bong you tell me?!

Yayyy love my blue hicuts. And blue jacket. Hahaahah. I love that electric blue. Of course the photo was edited so the shoes aren't really in true colours. But stillllll.... ♥!

Paris is really making me happy. Hahaha. :)

3 Levels of Awesomeness.

2010-06-08T05:45:00.000+08:00

Went up the Eiffel today hehe. I hate to say it cos I thought Paris was gonna be overrated what with the gazillions of tourists here. But really, I've... (Okay lemme cut off for a bit.)

WHAT THE FUCK. Miley fuckin' Cyrus new music video (Can't Be Tamed) came on the tv and WHAT THE FUCK, I couldn't recognise the little slut! SERIOUSLY WTF?! Stupid kid prancing around like a slut in a leotard who the FUCK do you think you are? Gaga?! Stupid ass bitch. That's why I love Taylor so much. I'd never imagine her doing stupid ass attention seeking gimmicks like that. Or especially selling sex instead of TALENT tsk. Eat shit Miley.

Okay anyways back to life.

Like I was saying, I'm completely in love with Parissss... :) The cars and bikes here are nicer. The buskers crazier. The air here is fresher. More halal places to eat at. The places and buildings prettier ahhhh! If I'm gonna make it for the Dec backpacking Eurotrip I'm definitely gonna come back. :)

I'm kinda not looking forward to Dubai by the end of this week :(((( But I just hafta think of all the shopping hehhhh~

Good night bitches!

Watching the Poker Channel nonstop here. Hahahahahah!

Misseskisses.

2010-06-06T19:16:00.002+08:00

I'm halfway around the world but you still manage to get under my skin.

I want to scream in your face.

Then have a nice night out with my girls who'll make it all go away. Truly missing you lot. I don't know how V does it!

Off on another exhausting overnight ride back to Paris.

PMS go awaaaaayyyyy.

It's ALMOST 12.

2010-06-05T04:46:00.006+08:00

Happy birthday fat bitch!

That's the best I can do. Hahaha. Cb blogger in Italian how the fuck do I change it?

Miss you all like balls. Seriously. I always dream of the guys when I'm abroad. And last night, we were fugitives having an intense runaway scene hahahaha. Merepek.

I'm minus 6 hours and I've been sleeping like a pig and eating non stop and my babat sumpah stoppit already. Cannot tahan man, come back must stop eating :(

Hahah we'll see lah whether I'll be bothered with diets. Ciao!

The best thing about fights:

2010-05-28T13:10:00.003+08:00

THE MAKE-UPS ARE THE BESSSSSTT. Hahahah. Sick to the skull. I'm not saying I like to fight though. Just making your life a little bit more miserable makes it worth sticking around for. Heh.

I'm flying off tonight to Dubai. Paris on the 1st. Then night train to Rome, reaching on the 2nd. And then Happy Birthday Rev! Then back to Paris on the 6th. Back to Dubai on the 13th if I'm not wrong and then home on the 20th. Phewww.

Don't miss me. Muahahaha.

And I've been major lazy to post up photos ever since I've decided to blog for myself heh. But really, maybe when I get backkk.. Heh.

I'm gonna miss you. Madly.

Madam Crapalot.

2010-05-24T00:24:00.001+08:00

*Rubs ur boncet*
Heh. :)

14.

2010-05-23T01:48:00.003+08:00

I suddenly wish I'd never let him go.

If ever there's a parallel universe, I wish I'd never ditched him for someone else (thus the bad karma begins....) and had given him a chance. Then maybe I'd be as loyal as I say I should be, had studied better and heck, maybe he'd push me to be fitter.

Arghhhh. Fucking frustrated right now.

I remember he was tall enough that my head rested perfectly on his chest and the best thing I loved about him was that he'd endearingly kiss my head. He has the most contagious laughter and an irresistible smile which will charm anyone's pants off hahaha.

Every now and then I'd always wonder how much better my life would be now if only I hadn't hugged the other boy.

Fuck being fifteen man seriously.

*snaps back to reality* Hahah work in the morning tomorrow! Die. More kopi-peng for me siols. Ciao-

Dear confused,

2010-05-21T02:05:00.003+08:00

What a daaaay! So busy at work and replying people left right centre corner kick goal haiyooo. So busy I didn't even had a chance to check out my eye candies who usually keeps me occupied until the end of the night. Hahah.

I prefer it that way though. Busy busy. :) Time definitely passes faster.

Thought the night went well. Until I realise I just don't feel the same way anymore. Sure I'm happy, but it's just... Hmmm. I miss the butterflies in my tummy. Things have changed so much. Most of all, I've put up a wall so high and so strong against him, which refuses to break down. And it stops me from getting any closer. For better or worse.

I'm so tired of all this. Honestlyyyyy..

Stupid heart. Stupid brain.

2010-05-20T03:58:00.002+08:00

Are we gonna be trapped in this hellhole for the rest of our lives then? If we are, then buckle up, hold my hand, hug me close and we'll spend the rest of eternity in this constant chaos. You and me, through thick and thin.

You don't know it, but seeing you guys laugh always makes me feel better already. :)

JAI HO! (I hope that has the same meaning as "huat ahhhhh!")

Goodnight lovers.

Bored to me skull fellas.

2010-05-19T17:21:00.003+08:00

You know what I need right now? I need my bestfriends. I need to talk to them. I need to see them. I need to laugh and eat with them. I need to have a drink with them. I need to sit down and just talk my heart out. I MISS YOU GUYS.

You know what, I'm driving over now.

I don't care. Hoo~ Hoo~ Hoo~

2010-05-19T11:39:00.003+08:00

We all know hope is a double-edged sword. It'll give you a sense of purpose to continue living, but when you realise what ever you're hoping for ain't never coming true, you'd be one depressed motherfucker. Haha.

I've always been crazily retarded optimistic hopeful when it comes to him. I know what he's like by now of course but I'd always hope he'll pop up somewhere, surprise me and then I wouldn't have to feel all that disappointment and sadness. But oh wells.

Leopard never changes its fucking spots lah dey~

I can't believe you're still wondering why I call you an STMF. Come onnnn lahh. Like duh? You're so full of shit and lies and always saying things that you don't mean. BIG FAT DUH??

But I don't give a damn anymore, honestly. I don't have enough passion left for you, to even be mad. I just don't care.

So I ended work, met my likes-to-crap-in-client's-condos Nas hahahhahaha and then jamming. Which was fairly awesome and having all that fun with them, I realise how much I've missed them. :) Their silly squabbles (YOU GUYS ARE 25++ FOR FUCKS SAKE!) and tantrums and especially their talent.

It's good to be back. And not having a jealous psycho to keep feeding you thoughts that you guys are bad for me and a waste of time. HAAHHAHAHHA sorry, I simply had to. (I just wish I've never met him lah okay?! Hahhahha fucking vermin.) Anyways, more gigs to come mates!

Today is my only totally free off day before I fly off and I've soooo much to do! CIAO~

I love you all so much.

2010-05-15T03:15:00.005+08:00

I was already asleep pretty soundly. It's 3 am now. And suddenly, I feel like crying so badly.. I was dreaming of a typical day out with the guys. Nothing sentimental, just the usuals.

I woke up, and it just hit me hard.... I'm never having that again. They're leaving me for NS. And we're all gonna have to start being adults now. I'm more scared than anything.. I'm fucking not ready for this at all... :(

Which adult uses "fucking" as much as I doooo? :(

I already realised this sometime last year, how little time I had left to really enjoy with them. Which saw me in fighting with the non-understanding, ridiculous, totally unreasonable ex a whole lot. I have no regrets for putting my friends first. I know myself best and I knew someday this day would come and it's gonna hurt like a bitch..

I miss every single fucking one of you and I honestly wish not much of your characteristics are gonna change. No matter how bad it is.. I love you just the way you are.

I hope NS would still allow you to reply me at 3 in the morning when I need you most, and I'd be able to text you anytime when I need a rant. Then maybe I can taunt you about not getting to watch World Cup. Hahah. Haiiiiih... :(

But most importantly, please don't forget me..