today marks the last post that i will blog for the next month. duh? prelims. not that i secretly would like to even bother about. in fact, im still too lazy to even put in effort for o levels. why cant we just scrap off exams. like half the population hates it anyways. tsk. and nothing does a better job to disintegrate us than horrible exam results.

anyhows, i went for the cam training just now. IT WAS FUN! bebeh volunteered to send me there. and wait for two whole hours somewhere till i finish and send me home. awww.. but in the end, when the security guard saw that i came with him, he suggested i brought him in too. =)) aint spore a pretty (fabricated) place?

we had fun with the camera after that. results to be shown later. haha. and now, bebeh wont be a cam illeterate. he's been taught and trained by a pro. heh.

took the bus back again. spent QUALITY time with him. doing stupid OH SO STUPID stuffs with him. like, activating the voice tag function in his handphone. was real funny. and he is SO GODDAMN FUNNY. alar, lazy to explain la.

i kept wishing him a happy advanced anniversary. but he refused to wish me back. all because he wants to do so at the rightful date. *smacks forehead* haha.

he sent me home cos i sadly had to go. things are rough at home. im beginning to detest my very own parents for bebeh's. why oh WHY cant they be just that understanding. its sending me to my very wits ends. peak of self destruction. ARRGGH.

anyhows, that boy suddenly called me. and it went something like this...

him: hello?

me: err.. ya, hello?

-silence-

me: ????

him: who's there?

me: ur syg....?

him: EH?! shit. i dial wrong number!

me: WAKAKAKAKAAAAA

him: i was supposed to call my mum

me: WAKAKAKAKAAAAA

him: okok.. i gotta go call her now..

me: EH WAIT! btw, its 9101**** (his mum's number)

him: i know la.....

me: WAKAKAKAKAAAAA. okok. bye! <3

-__________________-'' that's the second time already. and i bet, MORE TO COME. heh.

things hadnt been pretty for my close darlings. namely khaii and psych. relationships in turmoil.. physical fights. and they all had to occur on the same day. bad thing for me. just when ili and i thought things were getting better. oh wells..

alright, since this is a pretty personal blog (i think), i want to say one thing. goes out to khaii. its not like i gave up being your close friend. ive done ALL I CAN. to listen to your woes and try to help you get over a rough patch (only because you simply wont let me) and i sincerely did my best to talk you ut from crying only to be asked to 'go away' or 'i dont feel like talking' or 'you dont understand' or 'not now' or 'i dont know la.. i dont know la..' if you want me to play my part as a friend, THEN AT LEAST CONFIDE IN ME LA. if not, why should i bother in helping you see the sun in a cloudy day? (ok, lame) my point is, YOU know the right path, YOU know what ive advised you to do, and YOU KNOW how much a stressful relationship right now might affect your studies. it not that im against nas. I LOVE THAT GIRL. but if you just cant accept her for who she is, then why bother hurting her over and over again?

im really sorry nas. i dont want to take sides. and i hate being caught in the middle. but theres no point hanging on to something that is long gone. a feeling based on happy memories. thats wishful thinking for something you know you cant get. well, currently. maybe after the o's things would be much easier. maybe then you can work things out. theres no use of you crying over him. and VICE VERSA.

or maybe you might say im in no position to comment because ive 'never had relationship troubles'. EH PLEASE LA. im bloody (almost) 16. what kind of teenager am i if ive never faced such a similar problem. the only difference is that i moved. and walla, seth.

so khaii, pretending that i dont know nas personally, i wish you do the right thing. if you still want to hold on, im really giving up. all my consoling fell to deaf years. i wont bother with your relationship anymore. if things turned out for good, i'll be happy for you. if it doesnt, dont say i didnt warn you. and dont ever say you've never done the same thing to me. dont say you never gave up on me before. cos you did once. and bloody hell, i wont forget that incident.

im terribly sorry nas. i give you permission to hate me. i wont blame you if you think that it sounds as if i just want the two of you to be over. its not like i hate the two of you being together or anything. i swear to God, NO.

ironically, now i understand what khaii went through when it seemed that i fancied my (ex) bf and 'holding on' despite his disapproval. =/

like i said, the difference is, i moved on. at the end of the day, I LISTENED TO YOU KHAII. =( but i wont go to the extent of 'severing our ties' if you wont listen to me anymore. i'd just be numb about it. neutral. ok?

why must i be the one feeling the burden too? =/

on a lighter note, tomorrow marks the day of tbd's birthday. and i strongly doubt that our dear drummer is even aware of it. hais. so WE (mesethkhaii) turn one tomorrow. =)

and even better-er tomorrow is 27th. 8 months of happiness. most of it. =)) shmwahs!

sadly though, its sacrifice for the bloody prelims. gaaah. its ok. i get to see him on monday. =)

thus ends. so long. mug hard. CIAO-

update: there's a HUGE FLYING cockroach nymph in the room. AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! *flees*