im a stupid fuck. ive admitted my mistakes and well, im pretty shocked you admitted yours too. but im glad we made up. god, i swear i feel we are like a married couple constantly fighting. its amazing how we can make up after the biggest of fights. but thats how MATURE people are. for the last time, sorry khaii..

yesterday went out to esplanade. nothing to do. laughed at this group of guys and a girl jamming at the riverside. acoustic guitar la. they sat on the steps and just played songs in their funny malay slang. LOL. man, it triggered some strong emotions in me sial.. i told seth that the four of them reminded me of the times me seth khaii and afiz would jam. that was pure bliss. rock hard fun. i so didnt want to cry there cos i KNOW seth will start -____________- and he has no idea what to do during moments like this.. haiyo. nvm.

we talked about tbd. the moment when i started tearing was when seth started talking his norm lame shit about his future with TBD. he started imagining that the land riverside area was our stage and the esplanade sea (k, i dont know what river it actually is) will be filled with our fans. then he said something about me and khaii suddenly fighting during the last song which will be errr.. basketcase, i dont know why haha, but since we fought so badly that one of us got thrown off, he had to play the last song himself. which of course, will be time of your life. oh man, i just kept quiet, not facing him. its those moments where i regret so much fighting with khaii. thats what i mean by thrashing his dreams. i mean, not once has he been the one causing all sorts of problems. its always me and khaii. since we have a love/hate friendship. haha. well, sometimes. and i felt so fucked up with myself. and he went all quiet and i went all quiet.. haiyah..

i asked him before about the graduation day gig. i asked him, why is it that he doesn't mind not playing. i mean, i was furious enough to have to go his place just to KICK THE DOOR (his mum asked me to!) and wake him up. but its worse when in the end, he doesnt even wanna play! then he told me that he seriously dont care/mind cos its not the songs which he wants to play. and i was like,"but its just for fun. get experience you know..." and he was still adamant. his reason? he wants to play green day. its not that he is against metallica or something, NO! he just wants to give his virgin performance to a green day song. wow. that much passion. can you believe that MY virgin performance is with the school band. so much for green day. lol.

i dont know whether its passion or obsession. he just loves them so much. though that is no valid reason for ALWAYS being late. and trust me, its not only with you guys that he's late. he bathes like an elephant. everyone complains, even his mum sial. haiyo..

rock star my foot. rock star karat.

i have to bathe and meet seth. haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiyah. then to my interview. loves! ciao-