WORDY POST, YOU WERE WARNED.



I fully understand Heather's situation.


But I'm so sorry babe. I am trying damn damn hard but the pain is too raw.


All those feelings I buried.. I didn't know it would still affect me that badly.


I know it's hard, to see someone you love, loving someone else. And the fact that his heart belongs to someone else too... Sigh..


I know how frustrating it is, that your happiness was short-lived. (2 years to me is still damn short okay nabey.)


You feel that everything that made you so happy was robbed away from you, I know.


I know so well how you feel confused. You don't know where you went wrong because all you've offered from the start was love.


And hell yeah I know how fucking painful it is to choose to put a smile and tell him, "It's okay babe, (: sort yourself out first." When inside, you're burning in pain, wishing for him to choose you over her..


I know huns.


That's why I'm so sorry that I feel so useless, I don't know what I can do for you babe. Because whenever I think about how unfair it is, I break down. How do I help you when I can't even help myself..


I've buried those feelings, and I came a long way doing so. I don't want to suddenly dig it all up again and start crying. I've had enough of drowning myself with sad songs.


But I understand you need to go at your pace. :)


I'm so sorry if what I say don't make much sense, cos I zone out when I get emotional. I just feel so useless that I fucking can't do anything to help.. ARGH! I'm so sorry babe, but I hope you know I love you and I'll always be here.


P.S. Today was so emotional, that when I saw the poor emaciated stray cat eating GRASS, I started crying. Fuck la, so sad okay... Shit man, I can't get the image out of my head. :'( I'm gonna buy him cat food tomorrow, I swear.


Another P.S. I'm so sorry sayang. When I look back the past 2 and a half years, I really want to feel happy about it. But I swear, all I feel is intense heart pain when I reminisce. Every single time! It's not that I hate you or anything.. It's just that it still hurts me so bad that you took away from me, everything that used to make me feel like the happiest and luckiest girl in the world. (I can swear on my life that I'm not exaggerating. I knew I'd love you even if you didn't.)


But all good things must come to an end, and that was exactly what happened. :(


Ciao-


Didn't see you again today.. =/ Do you know you put a smile on this face?

Labels: heather

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