phwoar. ironic to de worst dae of mi life i had ytd, i had wonderful dreams. i woke up wid a huge smile. den i got depressed again wen all de problems sunk in. hais.

but im glad he told me wad reali happened. at least i noe mi mistake now. but of cos, i feel stupid. ok, i will keep dese things to miself. no point making things so err... public.

im thankful i hev such great frens thou. mi two new besties. in addition to heather. =)) i cant believe dey were so sane. cos las nite, i totally couldn tink straight. 'wake me up' made me cry cos it reminded me of.. well, nvm. wads done is done.

im doin it again. im sayin 'haha' but not meaning it. im jus sayin it. tsk.

my psychiatrist jus broke up. ouhhmaaaaaaaan. wad an addition of sad stories.. psych saes its normal dat relationships end. wad a heartbreak wen i heard dat.. but for me, its not de end. at least, i dun wan it to. cos if all relationships were to end jus cos of one fight, den dere wun be any marriages or two digit years anniversaries. tsk. u noe wad i mean?

oks, i cant tink straight animore. until i get things right, den i'll feel lyk bloggin. i duno wad to do.. usuali i'll go stuff mi face. but come to tink abt it, wads de point of doin dat rite. its jus temporary so called 'happiness'. wad bollocks.

ytd i was msgin seth all nite. but crying is tiring u noe.. dats whye ppl 'cry demselves to slp..' den i accidentally fell asleep. eeks. den wen i woke up, which was at ten (AMAZING), i had lyk.. whoa. msg-es frm seth. he tot dat i was gonna be emo all nite. or dat i got pissed wid him. or dat i din wanna talk to him. TSK! WHERE GOT DAT SORT OF RUBBISH! crazy. he's one paranoid boy. den todae he majok. wad de... if mi one n onli love, n all mi frens turned deir backs on me, i might as well die.

watch bullet in a bible. over n over again. n again. den over n over again. tsk. i duno if its helping. u noe how u love sumthin so much.. dat u'll watch it over n over again. lyk mi bullet dvd. i cant stop watchin it. hoping it will make me feel better. sometimes it does. but sometimes, it bloody hurts n i will start sighhh... cos so many things remind me of u. it used to be comforting. but now, dere's a dead knot deep in mi guts. n it hurts. is dat all de girls noe best? cry? im turnin into sucha crybaby dat its scaring me.. ive nvr cried so much. reali. but i dun care. ahhh. werl.

wow. psych is reali gooooood. a whole load off mi chest. i feel better. its wld be better if de truth dun hurt so much.

do u noe dat words can hurt? it amazes me dat wen someone get pissed at me, i'd do anithin jus to make de situation right. it scares de living hell outta me.

wow. no haha-s in dis entry. i wonder whye. tsk.

ive done all i can. i regret wad happend las nite. but if things still dun work out, i duno wad i can do alredi. dere is onli so much i can do. but u can make de whole lot of difference. i reali reali.. urgh, watever..