wow. too much has happened. on de nite of mi last entry, i had a talk wid earl. one which dragged till sooo oooohh ohhhh early in de morning. i let evrithin out. earl, u cant imagine how much of a burden is off mi chest after i told u abt him. i swear i din tot u'd react dat wae. its amazing how u can talk to me lyk dat even thou all i was doing at dat moment was to hurt ur feelings. u took it quite well, i mus sae. u were calm, damn! u even calmed me dwn! n den, it hit me. i felt so awful for doing dis to u. ur being so nice to me yet i keep breaking ur heart. dats whye i cried.. sighh..

den on dat morning, i slept at.. 4a.m.? den had to wake up again at 8a.m. to set off to msia. -.- wtf. wid all dat happened, where got mood for holidae dammit! de three guys (count dem urself) jus keep goin roun n roun n roun in mi head. earl made me promise not to tink abt de whole problem. seth too. i promised dem. but im sori, i broke it. i jus cant help thinkin abt it evriwhere i go. on dat friday morning, mi eyes were swollen as hell. mi voice croaked like a katak (frog) n i was so weak.. got out of bed aniwaes. i tot of tellin mi mum i dun wanna go. but i duno wad to do if i were to stay.

got mi arse off bed n bathed. n blablablaa. den slept in de car. duh?

btw, starhub got reception even IN jb. not bad eh?! but it wud die off la.. -.-

on de first nite of de trip, spent it in malacca. i cried dat nite. ohso horribly. i hope i din wake mi family up.. i jus couldnt handle de pressure.. i went in de toilet n cried mi eyeballs out. den i remember him sayin.. u hev to be strong. u cant jus follow ur feelings n cry. pls dun cry.. it doesn change de situation.. DAMN. so i bit mi lips n held back mi tears. it was so fucking hard, i tell u... come to tink of it, wads de use of crying eh?

i remember we went up to genting. -.- IM FINALLY TALL ENUF FOR ALLL DE RIDES. MUAHAHAA. i went up all de rides. n got dis one ride, it shoots u allll de wae up to de sky.. it was called space shot or sumthin. NABEY. i saw it n i remembered how chicken i was de last time round not to take it. of cos i went up la! UBER FUCKING COOOOL MAN! n mi timing was jus perfect! i got up de ride went de clouds were low. so went i was at de top of it, i was lyk floating in de clouds man! totally cant see below. MUAHAHAA. i tell u, i'll do it over n over n over again if not for de long queue. -.-

after dat dae in genting, mi dad couldnt find a hotel. cos apparently de whole world decided to come to kl n stay in hotels. nabey. he even tot of going home. but in de end still managed to find a hotel. thank god it wasn sleazy....

oooooh! petaling st got raided. *^%$&@#! wahaha! haiyah.. but i reali had no bloody mood to shop aniwaes. no prizes for guessing wad was on mi mind..

den stayed over at mi uncle's hse in jb. n dis guy in mcdonalds saed me n mi younger sis looked lyk twins. WTF. WAD A JOKE. for ONE, she's taller den me. (shutup! boo.) n TWO, evryone else i noe comments dat mi younger sis looks sooooo diff frm me n mi older sis. -.- dat guy mus hev been blind. oh yeah.. all msia mats are.. tsk.

oh oh oh! evrione shud try sticking deir head out de window wen on de ride dwn frm genting. de cool air is awesome! n i reali mean stick ur head out. mi dad scolded me, but wad de heck! wad is he gonna do? wind up de window n behead me? wahaha! it was nice. in fact, if de driver is crazy n going a 140 on de freeway, wind down de window. ITS SUPER COOL. i did jus dat! n evri motorists or driver dat went past, i started shaking mi head lyk a crazy person n pointing de peace sign. wahhaa. hu cares wad, rite? its not lyk u will ever see dese drivers or motorists again. wahahaa. one of de motorists stared at me strangely n nearly skidded off de road drove off fast immediately. wahhaa!

den blablabla.. last nite. haaiiiiiiis. so we went different ways. earl, i swear to u, dat de time i had wid u was amazing. wonderful. i was de happiest wen i was wid u. ask anione! evri single word i said to u, evri single promise i made to u, i meant it. wen i told u 'i love u', i reali meant it wid all mi heart. but dat was den. i nvr lied to u. reali. (cept dat time wen i was on de fone wid seth but i told u it was heather. =x) but i swear, ur a great guy. jus look at how u handled de whole thing! it amazes me. u struck me as matured n still caring. i mus sae, i still care for u. i fucking hate hate hate miself for causing u all de heartbreak. but i was jus being honest. oks, im being ironic rite now.. aniwaes. pls dun let me affect ur future relationships. take dis in ur stride. take it as a lesson. it reali was one for me. i had de time of mi life. n mistakes r meant to be made so dat we can learn frm it rite? i'll still be here for u. we'll still talk lyk we used to. we'll still crap lyk how we did wen we were frens. =) n u can still call me anitime u want. u cant imagine how relieved, how much much much more happier i felt wen u asked me,'promise to be frens forever?' haiis. dat was all i wanted u to sae. i dun want u to hate me. (thou by right, for being sucha bitch, u shud hev hated me....) n i still dun ever wana be an enemy to u. i'd love to be ur fren. i'll be here if u need a listening ear. dis is mi last promise to u earl, i promise to be a fren to u. one dat will be here for u. i promise. stab mi heart if i break it.

on a brighter side, mi older sis msged me! she's stil in aceh. n i fucking miss her so much.... hais. things r jus so so boring widout her. (pls dun tell her i saed dat cos it'll blow up her ego lyk no one's business. heh) i dun hev a listening ear to rant to for de past few daes. i made de decisions on mi own, wid no help. n dats whye it drove me almost insane. hais..

oh, abt khaii.. hmmmm. de thing abt u is, no matter wad u want to say or do to me rite now, ur still a best fren to me. ur taking it a step too far wen ur sayin ur severing ur ties wid me. (u tink wad? ASEAN n UN or wadever-is-related-to-ss isit?) but i cant believe u tink i was using u. W-T-F. whye de HELL wud i use u. UR MI FREN. n since wen u treated me lyk a princess? a princess doesn get beaten ard or thrown vulgarities at. N SINCE WEN I DIN LISTEN TO U?!!! (im so referring to ur blog post man..) evrithin dat u tried to help me wid earl, i bloody asked u for help. YOU khaii. n if i asked u for ur help n den not listen to u, WTF is rong wid me rite?! n wadeva earl saed to u on frenster, it was out of his own accord. i couldnt stop him. (KHAII, HE WENT TO YOU FOR HELP. DO U NOE HOW MUCH EGO DAT TAKES?! give earl a break.. for dis last time.. pplssss..) aniwaes, between us, it doesn stop here. pls dun crush seth by tellin him tbd is over. u noe how much he loves de band. dun kill him lyk dat. pls. tbd wun stop here. n shud anione leave it, it wud be me. jus so de two of u can carry on. n one thing abt u khaii, u tend to talk cock wen ur frustrated. u noe dat? its makin me luff. =x but r u sureeee u showed me respect. did u treat me lyk how a girl shud be treated? how come seth or hafiz doesn beat me up lyk u do? how come dey call me by seri n im known as bitch/babi/puki/pussy to u? but u noe wad khaii? i dun reali care abt tt. cos dats de beauty of our frenship. watever words u sae to me, it doesn hurt. i noe ur jokin. (i duno if ur jokin now..) but dat so-called 'mushy' msg to u, I MEANT IT. i wasn using u khaii. i tot u had dat shoulder for me. if i was using u, i wun care one bit abt u rite now. but I DO. i'll be here for u. u jus din use me well either. evritime ur emo, u want to slp. so i duno wad to do la! sori kays? haiya.

oh, n abt de gay thing. W-T-F. its a joke! u call me a bitch/babi/puki/pussy but am i reali one?! NO RITE! (i hope not! EEKS!) its a joke khaii. ur not fucking gay for goodness sake. call me a lesbo all u want, i wun be insulted cos i noe in me, dat im not one. n u shud do de same. ok fine, i wun tell u wad to do.

i duno wad to sae redi. hate me all u want khaii, but ur still mi fav bitch. muahaha. dun be so evil as to take de happiness i get out of playing bass. pls. wenever i hear ur voice on recordings, i feel lyk cryin u noe dat. i wun get over dat i lost u as a fren. i cant bear to lose anione animore. i will go kill miself, i tell u.

AAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!! I FORGOT I HAD TO GO OUT!!!! AH AH AHHH!!! shit shit shit. sori seth!

okok. im outta here. sooooooooo ciao-

btw, to evrione, dun be lyk me. dun create such havoc in ur life. cherish dose hu loves u. reali. u'll feel lyk killing urself if u regret one dae. ahhh. im-goin-crazy. outta here.

ohohoh! i secretly took dis pair if black/white stripey socks n put it in de shopping basket. WAHHAA. n mi mum jus pulled it out of de luggage n went..'YA ALLAH. KAU BELI NI BENDE? KAU DA GLER KEPE?' (OMG, U BOUGHT DIS THING? R U CRAZY?) n i was lyk.. HEH HEH HEH. so i took it awae frm her n started to wear it. den she came back into de room n saed,'EH KAU NI DA APSAL?! ABG KAU YG SAKET KE KAU?! (cos mi abg is dwn wid fever)' (EH,WADS RONG WID U?! R U OR UR BROTHER DE ONE HU'S SICK?!) wahahahaa! okies. im goin nuts wid mi socks. wahahaa. loooves it.