yeah. my year end post.. that marks two full years of blogging! and half the time, blogging about my love for seth! hahaha.

anyways, this year was pretty happening and un-happening. hmmm.. these 5 people made my year so SO colourful! so i will dedicate this last post of the year to them.. =)

its in chronological order as to when i got close to them yeah? heh. oh, and you can just scroll down to your name.. haha. don't really have to read it. if you're not one of the five (plus one).. sorry!

MY NO.1 ALWAYS! : HEATHER NG LEE TENG! , 4 years

she made me understand the strength and glue of this friendship! though i VERY MUCH (i admit!) neglected her for hmm... 3 or 5 months on and off, IM SO GRATEFUL we're still here for each other. there is no better bitch for me than the heather kinda bitch. =) and for alllll those unforgettable moments we share going out together throughout the years, thank you! she is one strong girl and the sort who simply don't care what others say of her. something which we both share and is one of our common grounds.. =) every second i share with her is like.. "never a dull moment". (isn't that a company slogan or somethin..) we diss mats to emokids to desperate "street punks" to hardcore punks who wear rags to fat cellulite-showing girls to girls who think they're all-that to girls whom we dislike just because of their face. hahahaa. well, that gives a reason for us to bitch about every passer-by we see. and we get a kick laughing at angmohs who don't wear bras and when their 50c tits are showing. LOL. well, super fun! and i can NEVER be who i am today without her. the four awesome years of knowing her and being her best friend is just the BEST roller coaster ride of my life!

and i know i tend to piss you off with the irritating perpetual correction of your english. but, we'll stick it up eh. hahaha.

and don't worry yeah.. no matter how far we live, we will always make time for each other. hope work life don't get between us hor. continue to be the bitch that you are and with your fantastic personality, it'll take you places. then again, mind your words or some punk will rape you one day. haha. LOVE YOU BITCH!

No.2 : MUHD. SETH! , 3 years (two years spent liking him on/off -.-)

from the greasy haired class secretary who sat in front me to the most loving boyfriend i've ever/will ever have! I LOVE YOU! MAAAANY more ups than downs and i love him for being the most patient person who can tahan me. really! im so grateful i found someone who has such a positive outlook on life. let me cite you an example which happened recently yeah?

me: im so sorry.. im so sorry i cant be with you on our anniversary... *sobs* (FAKE LA.. heh heh heh)
seth: *silence for a moment* syg... don't be sad la.. you will be back on thursday right? and one year two days is better than one year right? =)
me: *too stunned that i can't fake crying* =)

he just lives to say the most comforting words to me and he will ALWAYS be there for me when i'm upset the slightest bit. he gave me encouragement even when i don't realise that its what i really need at that moment. as corny as this may sound, there are many moments where i realise that he's just too perfect for me to let go of. crazy attitude? check. funny? check. caring? check. the list can go on ya know.. his happiness and smiles are so infectious and i can't help but just glow inside with a sense of pride that he's mine, whenever i look at him. you get my drift?

and to all his friends. the guys and all.. i don't know if you guys realise this.. but, seth is like.. always looking on the brighter side of things. and would never ever look down on anyone. i mean, has he ever dissed you before? has he ever said bad things about you? (unless you did that first, than here's a big FUCK YOU) he is simply not the kind to judge someone on his bad characteristics first. i don't know where he gets the patience to do so. but that's just some. i'm reminded of this scene which often happen. in the jamming room..

seth: eh, kau tau main the solo tak?

khaii: abit ah..

khaii: *plays a few notes*

seth: OK BEST! boleh boleh boleh.. *one two..*

don't take it for granted. if he's too nice, don't take advantage of him too ok. though there are times when i say he's like a robot, cos he barely reacts to my bad tantrums and scoldings, he DO have feelings ok. just because he doesn't talk about it, doesn't mean he's not hurt inside. or seething in anger or whatever. its because he doesn't want to tell the truth cos plainly, the truth hurts people. please do take care of this fragile kid as world as he gets.

to seth:

you ALWAYS make me feel better and spending quiet time in your arms is like.. the heaven on earth. the nightly sweet messages, the never-ending cheek pinchings, the sudden hugs and kisses out of nowhere, the stare you give me before you say "i love you", the freedom you give me to make my own choices, the ultimate trust you have in me that no matter how far we are, i would be faithful (damn hell i would!), the humble seth who will never fail to send me home no matter how long and tiring the day was, that ONE & ONLY TEAR i ever saw/heard you shed minutes before i had to go off on my (real) holiday, the things you would do just to keep me warm on the cold rides home ... wow, this can go on and on and on.. well, everyone here knows just how crazy i am for you... and if i came so far to attract your attention, i will give MY ALL to be your one and only for the rest of this life. you make long-term relationship FUN. =) rest assured, i've never thought of behaving intimately with any other guys besides barney.. really.

well, simply said, as ugly as this world will turn out to be one day, you will be my one perpetual ray of hope in life. i wish to spend MY WHOLE LIFE with you and this one year together is still not enough. I WANT MORE!! MOREEEE!! god, i just love you so very very much! and we both know that.. =) don't stop ok.. i won't.

No. 3: KHAIRULANWAR, 2 years

hmmm.. we've been through alot.. and i mean alot.. shit and happy times. i will never ever ever forget that time you told me that you were worried something might happen to my relationship with seth such that it will severe the band. i'd like to say this, LOOK WHERE WE ARE TODAY! ambiguous? the band? or me and seth? or the conflicts? so anyways.. i still feel i don't know you sometimes. the way you treat other people. but i cherish this friendship. there are MANY "god, im so thankful seth is my boyfriend" moments when i'm with you. hahaha.

it's cool that we can just call each other up and talk about.. nothing. haha. people underestimate us. i'm DYING to say his name.. but i won't. HMPH. its because.. more often that not, i will blog about our fights and our frequent disagreements. but stupidly, this certain boy ASSUMES that we're always like that. tsk. but to set this straight to everyone, we're NORMAL. we have disagreements but that doesn't mean i don't enjoy his company and that i don't love spending those times jamming and crapping/lepaking. he fails to see that at least i have great relationships that i can boast of. enough of him. i just wanna thank you for being the honest friend that you are and for those awkward moments when im not myself, IM SORRY. but i'm happy that we came so far and we understand each other so well. =) and throughout these two years in school, thanks for being there for me. thanks for allowing me to use you as a punching bag when im frustrated. =x thanks for every.single.moment. that we share. not known to you, you taught me some pretty important stuffs in life ya know. thanks for the times.

No. 4: MUHD. HAFIZ, (almost) 1 year

WOOOOOOOOOOO!! believe it or not, (almost) one year! looking past my archives, i realise even waaaay early in feb or such, i have always said that life without afiz's craps is BORING. and i mean it. though we got closer in the past few months and talking heart felt stuffs to you is still relatively weird, i have to say that every moment i spend with you, lepak-ing or online, is FUN. there is just something about you that makes me happy. and the things you say are hilarious. i love your sarcasm and i thank god that you are at least as "fast" and "smart" as me to get indirect jokes. jokes that just won't work on heather and seth. HAHAHAHA!

i remember (or rather, i will never forget) that one moment in the bus, when you told me and seth that you were closer to the other guys and that there are some things you can't say to seth and me. i wasn't like, crazy mad offended. but inside, i was really hurt la. i didn't realise that just that short sentence can affect me so deep. really. up till now, i still wonder what was it that you meant. and since then, i tried to be open. hang out with the guys more ya know.. so i'll stop being so judgmental of them. to see the side of them which you see. and i can safely say now, that i understand. i see it now. i really hope you don't feel that way anymore. you're a great person and of a good material. but nice people like you are growing scarce in this world. anyways, back to what i was saying.. i just hope you can be more open with us.. if not with me, than at least with seth.. i know la i can't be totally part of you guys cos of the sheer fact that i ain't got balls hanging between these shaved legs. heh.

i really respect how you take care of all of the guys. and how you try to be there for every one of them. please do take care of heather or i will absolutely slit your throat if you take one wrong step. =x heh. but all the best to you guys.. and i really do hope our friendship go on.. really! and my favourite line to you, which weirdly i don't say to anyone else ; TAKE CARE HOR. =)

N0. 5: NUR NASUHA, 10 months

hehe. well, what can i say.. we just talked about our similarity. eyes and hair. LOL. and co-incidentally, those are the two most important features that i take care of. heh. anyways, going out with her is TRUCKLOADS FUN! cos she is crazy and talks alot. i've never understood your issues though. i've always thought you were pretty. well, prettier than her. you gotta have more confidence but it really doesn't help how he treats you sometimes, I KNOW. but i think you have so much talent and creativity hidden that you are too scared to show. =( but lets not talk about serious depressing stuffs. heh.

i thank you for introducing me to the local underground scene. i don't understand moshing though. just like how i dont understand how people would self-mutiliate. lol. anyways, you gotta hang on tight if you wanna stay long. he's a werewoman remember? hahahahahaa. oh god, i'm still getting giggles out of that. anyways, you know you're pretty and STOP with the too-thin thing. we both know you're not that too thin. hey, what's wrong with being too thin.

to others. selamat hari raye haji and a happy new year. thank you to everyone in 4e for making this year EXTRA SPECIAL! my last year in dmn is totally UNFORGETTABLE and i love every 37 of you guys for being the individual ingredient that makes up 4e. awesome peeps.

for all the conflicts which happened recently, i cant bring my ego to say sorry. HAHA. i had my fun. and maybe the new year will help me forget it. but it won't rid the bitch in me. hahaha. i don't regret any which happened and hmmm... i don't seem to care.. hahahaha. sorry la! nonono. i'm not!

oh, i've got a special shout out. to eunice yak. it's weird whenever i think about the past. how ironic it is that now you and heather and going on so well. i remember the card which you gave me when we all thought that seri was moving away since she lives so far. haha. it had this "equation" which you did. ah, i'll not bother explaining. let me show it.

yeah, i know.. heh. at that point of time, i was really puzzled. cos we both know you and heather didn't really get along well. and that it gets weird when we three hang out. haha. although i can't remember much, i remember the AVT.. =) me you heather.. seth azip khaii. well, i had a picture. but i was too childish to not treasure our friendship that its now forever lost. those are fun moments. i remember this one day, in 2f classroom. we gathered in that toilet and put on eyeliner and mascara.. and then, proceed for the friday assembly.. haha. and henceforth, started my habit of wearing eyeliner to school.

i admit that i was A REALLY UNFORGIVING UNREASONABLE bitch to you. that's one thing you don't deserve man. from what i've heard of heather, you can use a good friend, yeah? maybe you don't remember anymore. but i still have the notebook we scribbled in during lesson times.. haha. those old skool messages.. oh, i recently showed it to nas, she played a part too. haha. those anti-lew (japanese freak useless math teacher) messages. remember MR. CHERN?! omfg. that's so yesterday.. that notebook holds ALOTTA memories for me.. how i used to get so mad at you cos you can't decide on which hair colour to get. =x i always told you that you can make a good choice yourself! and i'm right, see where you are right now, girl.. =) i was easily irritated when you tried to be somewhere you're not, or so i thought. when all the while, i was only stopping you from being your true potential, from being who you really are. well, if i've never ever said this before, i'm really sorry.. for the demise of our short one year friendship. i will neve forget it nor the crazy times at your place. or the six of us at the AVT.. it's awesome now you get along with heather.. =)

ili my babe, thank you for this special last year. super awesome can.. heh. thank you for tolerating with my nonsense. i tend to get a wee bit overboard sometimes but maybe its cos you are more focused on 'o's. heh. i won't be able to get through this all so important academic year without you. the second i walk into class, i will keep a look out for you. heh. and we all can't deny that we would ALL miss secondary school. with a class like ours, its extra special. girl, you looked fab on prom.. thank you for the toilet breaks. thank you for being my walking malay dictionary! thank you for all those rushing moments at the sound of the van. i actually wanted to say thank you for all the free drinks. heh. thank you, for being my friend. hopefully you and him work out yeah? =)

all in all, i'm still bitchy and at least i admit it. and everyone person i know has got a single piece of it. you can't deny that there's a bitch in every one of you! anyhows. to everyone else going out for countdown tonight, have fun! i would most probably be sleeping. or on the phone with my new (year) boyfriend. =) ciao-