It's safe to say that my last relationship has proven more potent and life damaging than I thought. It was abusive (on my part), unhealthy and most importantly it was way too much for me to handle.


Right now, I can't believe that it's going to be almost a year and I'm still having relapses. I'm definitely not proud of it. Fuck, I fucking hate it. It's disgusting how I let someone who I honestly hate, affect me so much. If I was strong enough, this wouldn't be an issue, trust me.


But sadly, the ones who pay are the ones who actually love and care about me. I'm sorry for letting you down. I'm sorry that I built this wall and didn't let you in. I'm so obsessed with my own space that I fail to draw the line at self indulgence.


I'm truly sorry love.


And for totally missing your birthday too fatty.. =(
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