sighs.. the week was so fucked.. i can barely remember what happened. ive been sleeping loads. but all the most inappropriate times. in class and while in the middle of a conversation with bebeh. so.. i found it hard to differentiate dreams and reality itself. after all, surreal things happened this week.

that stupid squabble with bebeh last sunday. darn, it took me a good 5 mins or so to remember what it was all about. thats the thing about loving someone.. the intense feelings simply overshadows all the ugliness, hurt and everything negative you can think of. sigh.. the extremes you will go through and put up with, in the name of true love..

a certain 35 year old cousin of mine passed away. regretfully, i never found the chance to thank her for her help during my pri school days. i found hard to comprehend the message my mother gave me in the middle of my physics lesson. i was so shocked at it that i though that it must have been some kind of sick joke my mum was pulling at. imagine my shock when i called her in the toilet, only to find out that it was the truth, and nothing but the truth. i sat in the toilet, crying. i dont know of what emotion i cried for. but i was so overwhelmed with the fact that, the last time i saw her, i was cursing her. for being a nuisance to me. it never occured to me that she would suffer such a fate barely a week after i last saw her.. i cried, ashamed of myself. oh what have i done.. from the bottom of my heart, forgive our silly remarks and wrong doings and may your soul rest in peace. amin.

it irked me when bebeh simply laughed at me when i told him, "wow, you kind die just like *snap fingers* that." the poor darling's face changed to an adorable pout instantly when he saw that i was being serious. haha.

school's been fine. i think. my hatred for that.. EEEKS. i suddenly remember that im not suppose to slander our dear teachers. oh, so be it.

hang around at bebeh's house quite a lot this week.

sigh. rudely interrupted by my mother. LATERS!

updated:

hanging out at bebeh's place is fun. hey, dont get the wrong idea okay.. his lil sis or bro is always around. tsk. seha (his lil sis) played wrestling with me. and of allll days, she chose that one day where i had a terrible headache. hey, it was really bad! never in my whole life, i had to take TWO panadol extras ok.. that girl is one strong, smelly and ferocious girl. thats the result of growing up with only two older brothers as siblings. lol. lucky her.

another time i went there, she was nicer. she called me 'kakak yani' and cheekily asked me if i was her bro's gf. and im like, DUH? oh BOY, she has loooots of pretty earrings. lucky girl. i wish i was the only girl in the family. no, really. i went home that friday night with yellow fingers. from the chicken she cooked. haha. still, i'd LOVE her to be my in law. for an 11 year old, shes cool. =))

anyhows, however.. that friday night, bebeh sent me home. and mother of all coconut trees, my dad saw me with him. wtf. ARGH. im so pissed beyond pissed that i just cant explain how ridiculously i feel murderous right now. why cant they just be NORMAL. hey, im a growing adolescent mind you. and its not like seth will rape me or anything. and he called me a SETAN. he called me a DEVIL. fine, so be it. i dont give a chicken fuck if you decide to disowe me. how fucking ridiculous. RIDICULOUS OK. and muhd seth is sincerely sending me home because he is concerned for my safety. he is one person who will simply dieee and feel guilty if that night ever happened again. AND YOU GUYS?! cut my line ah! FOR ALL I CARE. then, who will not be able to contact me? and im old enough. i can have a prepaid line for myself. i seriously cant give a freaking damn anymore. rubbish. its not like seth is the total devil un-bf material.

fine, if you dont approve of him.. then SO BE IT.

just because you dont have a life, doesnt mean i dont deserve to have one.

ive never been this outrageously pissed with my parents. ever.

pissed. CIAO-