i feel i've reached the point in my relationship where i'm just stoned..

for the first time in my whole life of loving seth, (cheh, macam dah 200 yrs like that..) my feelings for him not once wavered. eversince he met fahmy and started working, everything just changed.

how foolish of me to think that maybe, just maybe, by joining him to work at the same place, might bring us closer. might tighten up the loose strings which broke when i was all lonely and jobless at home.

i sat on the concrete slab, just stoning. after work just now. i was so dazed. seth came but i was stoned. i couldn't talk. god knows how many times he said, "sayang dah tak sayang i lagik eh..." but all i could do was stare into blankness. i don't know what overcame me to do that. goodness, he was so patient with me.

then again, i've been so mad at him lately, only once or so going home with a smile on my face. neither do i know why i've been so fucking emo. right now, i'm having mixed feelings. i'm so full of rage and love for that boy.. just change.. oh god please..

another first, i cried my eyeballs out shamelessly in public just now. that's a WOW. thank god for my oversized shades..

haiya.. i feel like giving up. i want to have a talk with fahmy. let him know how i feel. then again, i don't want him to be freaked out by me or anything..

i hate being second place. i hate being put to the next priority after "Work, Making Friends." god, i'm pissed at hell at seth. yet... yet... ARRRGHH.

hafiz... i need you. or even better. HEATHER..... =,( my girl's been too busy for work. me too. can't wait to see her soon. haiya..

how was work? WELL WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?! its work! pardon me for being so forlorn (if only you could see my face) and depressing..

OMG! SOMETHING SO FUNNY HAPPENED!

my mum was tucking in to bed. but there were loud sounds like scraping metals. so my mum asked my bro to shout to the "bloody ind" to shut up. and guess what my bro did?! he shouted, "OI!! PEOPLE WANT TO SLEEP LA OI!!" omfg! the fella, presumably an ind, then made minimal noise. sial ah! funny sial! with a family who are so against all kinds of bloodys, how can i not be so prejudiced against them?? haha. i likee....

a while back, i was to busy to update, now i'm just moodless.

lies, broken promise, changes. the demise of a relationship.

stop being such an emofuck!

god, GOOD NIGHT! promise to update soon. ciao-