The difference between me and my sisters is that, they are too nice. My older sis apparently had a bad experience at Batam just now. By being too nice, I mean she actually layan those strangers. It's not her fault that she was just trying to be nice even after sending obvious signals that she doesn't wish to be disturbed. She spoke Indon summore. Guess what i would have done?

Scold some vulgarities in English and walked off to another seat. Simple as that. I mean c'mon laaaa it's some cheekopek pakciks (to me) and I DON'T wish to have small talk with them. eeyer, i'd rather swallow all of Boy's hairballs.

But that's just me. I have a tough exterior and very very (seemingly) anti-social because I have trust issues. Easy as that. When new people come along in my life, I do wonder if they want something from me. I keep things to myself as I don't want people judging me. I'd get increasingly uncomfortable when strangers approach me. I'll most probably just wave them off. Unless I'm with Seth and the subject is of a certain race. HAHA.

No lah! I'm not that bad okay! heh heh heh....

Okay, bottom line is, I'm very defensive and I know I want to be able to take care of myself. I've even pinched/punched Seth at different parts of his body just to find out which was the most painful area. (fyi, it's pinching at the babat area below your arms.) But let me tell you girls, if any fucker tried to hurt you, like, I mean physically ah.. Just make sure you SCREAM! YOU GET ME?! SCREAM FOR HELP!!

More often than not, you are too shocked by the reality of the whole situation. So i'm bloody telling you girl, SCREAM LIKE A GIRL! AND, BITE THE SHIT OUT OF THE FUCKER!!!!! I'M DEAD SERIOUS OK! When he's got a good grip on your body you either swing your elbow (strongest joint) to any part you can get and DON'T FORGET TO BITE!!!! If he's not holding you then of course don't lean forward to bite him ah. If you're standing in front of him, thrash around and don't let him touch you! But don't kick around and lose your balance then knock out la.

TRUST ME, it'll come in useful okay. Every single time I think of that one night I got molested (I'm coming clean, like, finally.. So now you know why Seth suddenly sends me home everyday since April last year..) I can't help but grit my teeth and clench my fist and wished I'd reacted more violently. The best word to describe it is, SQUIRM. YES, all i did was try to squirm out of his grip. It proved to be STUPID MISTAKE. I should have elbowed the shit out of that fucker and who cares about his hairy arms. I should have bitten him till that bit of flesh falls off his body. Then I would scream like nobody's fucking business.

Needless to say, everytime I go home alone, I'd still scan around and cast dirty looks at men who drop off the same stop as me. And, there's no relief like the relief of being safe (alone) behind closed lift doors. I still jump at my own reflection through the glass windows though. Yeah, that night has terrified me even after one and a half years and probably for the rest of my life. But I know i came out stronger and oh boy am I ready for another fucker. He'll be damn sorry he picked this girl.

Being molested is one thing you never ever ever ever want to go through in your life sia. The sudden flashbacks makes me wanna bite my tongue til it bleeds. And my blood will start to boil just like that. I'm serious, all I'm feeling is the regret of not reacting violently. From then on, I started to get violent dreams. Really! Of killing people usually. I just wish I can kill that fucker I tell you.

Oh you mother fucker. If I do find you, i'll fucking call the police (it's only sensible la deyy..) and request them to let me have my revenge. Fucker la he. I'll make sure i crush his balls and squish his penis flat. AND flatten his fingers and bash his bones till it turns to powder. I just wanna kick the shit out of him. See what I mean. ANGRY. So whatever you do. Better be safe than sorry. DON'T GET INTO LIFTS WITH STRANGERS.

And it goes without saying, I HATE WOODLANDS.

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank my boyfriend Muhd. Seth cos he was there for me from start to end. Through the healing process and anger outbursts and break downs.. Though he lives in the East and I live at North, he's just goddamn wonderful to be willing to send me home just so I reach home safe. And he makes it a point to stress me (every single time. Even now!) to message him when I reach home (even though he sends me to my block). hee hee. He's so sweet (that I forget sometimes) and just the best boyfriend I can ask for. Thank you sayang! =) I so goddamn love this (one year, nine and a half months) boyfriend can! CAN!