I HATE the disappointment in her face. I hate it I hate it I hate it. I know money is never the issue but she uses it as an excuse to hide her true disappointment in me. Doesn't take a genius to know that. Arggggh. Fuck I hate it I hate it I hate. And I know it's not their fault but I hate you Pat, I hate you Ferdi, I hate you Yong. Bleahhhhhhh. Don't even wanna think about my Dad's reaction.


Every single time I think about it I just can't believe it's over. Just like that. This is gonna be the rest of my life now. What the fuck.


I'm screwed. But I know it's not over.


I want to sleep and not wake up for a long long long time.


Just have to keep reminding myself that things could be worse.


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